u/roseypaige

I've worked approximately the same schedule for easily 5-6 years. Wed-Thur-Sat and sometimes 1/2 days on Tuesdays (I use this as a flex day for busier/slower times). Honestly, my schedule hasn't changed much, even when I changed salons and eventually moved to a Suite. My clients have followed me and each time, I assured them my schedule was staying the same and the transition was pretty seamless.

I don't know if it's just summertime and they're bored but I suddenly have an influx of people asking about my days as if they're brand new. I currently have the 3 full days open and I will open up Tuesdays or sometimes Fridays on an as needed basis. I have 2 kids home for the summer and one of my kids does Homeschool during the year so this is about all I really want/need to work right now and I stay relatively busy but generally not so busy that I can't make room or accommodate my clientele with 1-3 week notice tops.

It seems weird to me that all of a sudden I have people asking about it like it's new and even had one or two bolder (or ruder) clients say things like "Oh you only work 3 days a week? Must be nice" and almost seem personally offended that I'm not there 24/7 for them or at least more often.

Not even getting into how physically demanding the job is and how I'm on my feet all day for 8-11 hours for those 3 days, but I'm just in a season of life where I can't (physically/emotionally)/don't want to do much more than that, which I won't apologize for. But I'm just curious if others come across this, if it's been a more recent trend in client behavior and how do you react?

I (41F) struggle with parents and a sibling who are all emotionally immature to varying degrees. I have a ton of guilt about resenting them for various things over the years bc they are so well-meaning, but also exhausting. I've talked it to death in therapy and with my spouse and friends and have been assured that while I'm not imagining how dysfunctional their behavior is, I have to just accept that they aren't changing and work on boundaries, which I have been doing.

Lately, my mom and sister have (separately) been cornering me to ask what my plans are if something happens to my dad and my mom needs caring for. Which is odd, not only in the way they just blurt it out, but also my dad isn't terminally ill or anything. He's in his mid-70's and while he's not the perfect picture of health (overweight, back problems, IBS), nothing that makes me think it's an urgent issue to deal with.

My mom keeps "joking" that I have to take her in and she'll have a tiny house built in my backyard and my sister is telling me that I have to take care of her (she doesn't work and doesn't have the means).

In addition, my parents (who followed me to a new state to be closer to me and my kids) have been trying to convince my sister to do the same. It's something they're seriously considering but my mom keeps pressuring her with things like "well you better do it soon before I die" and today she told her "you have to promise that even if you don't move here while I'm alive, you still have to come to be close to your sister".

My brain doesn't even know how to make sense of it all. The morbidness, the guilt tripping, the responsibility. I just want to crawl in a hole and hide. Of course, I don't want anything to happen to any of them and I realize my parents are dealing with mortality issues, probably normal at their age. But oh my god. They can suck the energy out of me during a 5 minute conversation about absolutely nothing. THIS is just devastatingly exhausting.

Of course, I would do what I had to to make sure that they are ok if it came down to it. But am I a horrible person for feeling like my family is leeching off of me (not only for financial means, but emotionally to help cope with their own fears) and for wanting to just run and hide from this WHOLE conversation?

I almost don't even really know how to word this so please bare with me. I moved from booth to suite rental last year. I'm literally down the block from my old location and I had full access to my entire clientele to notify them. Almost ALL followed me, love the new space & have been super supportive. I mean, I legitimately can only think of 3 or 4 who haven't been in. I've even gained new clients through referrals and suite foot traffic, so I'm staying just as busy as I was, if not a little more.

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And yet, every single time one of my family members (mom, aunt, in-laws, so older family if that's relevant, maybe it's generational?) asks me about work, it's always with this distinct undertone of... Idk... Pity? They all ask if I was "able to get any of my clients to follow" or if I have any business. This evening my aunt asked about whether there were slow times/busy times and I said yes, typically summer slows down a bit as people vacation but overall I stay busy enough to take home a decent paycheck. She took that as "oh good, at least you can cover your expenses" which seemed like a strange thing to say. I actually meant I can cover my expenses PLUS take home a relatively good paycheck but I didn't correct her bc at the end of the day, I'm doing what makes me happy, I'm successful at it and that's all that matters.

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But why does it bother me so much? I've been doing this for 25 years, I've NEVER struggled to maintain a clientele/make money at it and yet I can't help but feel like I have to defend myself to my own family every time that ask about it. Am I being overly sensitive? Would it irk you if you constantly felt like they were doubting you?

My kid is going into her 2nd year playing with the same soccer team and for the most part she gets along great with everyone. When I suggested we invite them to her birthday party, she said she just wanted to invite a couple of them. I told her that might make the rest of the team feel left out and maybe we just do all or nothing. She is very close with one or two of them, so she said she really wanted them there and when I pressed her for why she didn't want everyone, she confessed that there are 2 girls in particular that aren't very nice to her. Although I've never heard these girls say anything directly, I see what she means. The girls are kind of whispery and snobby and if I'm being honest, so are the moms. I've tried telling her it's best just to extend the invite to all and hope that those girls won't even come but she's really adamant about it. Seeing how upset she gets when I suggest having these 2 girls at our house, I'm on the fence now but my husband feels strongly that it's bad for team morale going into the next season to exclude some.

What is the right thing to do here? They didn't cover this in the parenting manual 🤦🏻‍♀️