u/rpiVIBE

The other day, they texted begging me to "carry them along" in parnethood, tell them things that haven't do with kiddo (update them in case they forget to ask), and that they never wanted to stop being a parent (they just wanted to stop being my spouse), etc. Meanwhile, they chose to give up custody, continually choose not to spend time with kiddo apart from when its convenient for them (2 hours after work, 2 days/week, no weekends). The day after the text barrage, kiddo called them to ask them to spend time and they declined because of a wedding. Mind you, most if not all weekends are like this. Never communicate their availability, never reach out to spend time with kiddo apart from birthdays or big events. I'm increasingly realizing that they truly are self-centered and have limited empathy because they can do this even to their own child? I'm getting sad realizing I projected goodness and basically my highest values onto this person for so long. And now that I'm left in the rubbles and picking myself up, it feels like I brought this on myself... idk, just some sad realizations. That trauma bond will have us walking into hell willingly. Like I'm still wondering where my actual spouse is.