u/rubberhead

I've been sober for 13 years. I'm a bit of a loner and just went through a messy breakup. There have been some moments when I considered drinking but it wasn't hard to work through the impulse. What I really need are friends because I don't really have any in the town I live in, and definitely none who are sober.

Is it ok for me to attend meetings mainly for this purpose? I'm craving a sense of community and a place to vent without judgement.

I think my partner broke up with me this morning. Basically she's saying that I've been emotionally unavailable for a couple of weeks and that this is a thing I do every year about this time and it lasts for weeks. She's done, she says.

I'm very sad. I love her, and she loves me. Every long term relationship I've ever been in ends this way. They get worn out and eventually leave because of my depression. The difference this time is that I'm finally on the right medication and the periods of depression are shorter and not quite as bad. Hypomania usually lasts 2 days when it used to last weeks.

On the other hand there are glaring incompatibilities between us. She is autistic and has no control over her anger. She's also 20 years younger which presents a variety of challenges. I've felt boxed in throughout the relationship, put her at the top of my priorities even when i shouldn't.

But I fucking love her so much. I'm devestated. There's an engagement ring tucked away in my sock drawer, I was just waiting for the right moment...