I’m not queer anymore
I’m not queer anymore.¹
I’m absolutely, 100%, בײַסעקסועל² (or ³ביסעקסואַל, if you prefer).
But I’m also absolutely, 100%, not queer.
Queer, as a self-signifier, was on shaky ground, personally, even before October 7th 2023.
I’m old enough to remember when the word was mostly a weapon wielded by others. It took a long time for me to hear it without feeling a sting, and even longer to use it without worry.
Those decades of reclamation effort notwithstanding, the word started to lose its lustre and utility for me when I realised way too many Kinsey 6 über alles folk — especially among the terminally online — were using the term as an unspoken but not-nearly-as-subtle-as-they-thought-it-was way of excluding bisexual folk.
Bisexual folk who weren’t sufficiently queer according to their lights⁴ were the obvious targets. But, in the end, and at least in my experience, all bisexual folk were, in various ways, targeted by the unsubtle exclusionary hints embedded in the ways they used the word.
But, post–2023-10-7, I’ve abandoned the term entirely.
In English, at least (and again, in my experience), queer is now synonymous with Jew-hater. That is, the set of people most vociferously identifying as queer are, for practical purposes, also the set of people most vociferously acting as if Israel’s mere existence is a hate crime against their imaginary, universalist,⁵ utopian world dystopian fantasy.
Consequently, and except as a way of identifying those who’s violent bigotry is dangerous to me in multiple ways, I no longer have any use for the word.
addendum
I’ve heard קוויר-לײַט⁶ here and there. If it takes off in Jewish circles, I’ll go along with it, even though I likely won’t use it myself.
A sort-of apology for the title. As soon as the sentence occurred to me, I knew I wanted to both write down this quick, ≅450-word, note and post it with the click-baity title that spurred it into existence.
biseksual
beyseksuel
read: any bisexual person who dared act on their cross-gender attractions even in passing, let alone seriously. (There’s a coincidental parallel in this targeting as well. More than 80% of partner-bonded bisexual folk are in a bond that includes someone of another gender than themselves. Seeking to exclude this overwhelming majority sub-set of all bisexual folk from ‘queerdom’ is, in percentage terms, a whole lot like only approving of non-Zionist Jews.)
read: Judenfrei.
kvire-layt (translates to the hyphenated-even-in-English noun phrase queer-people or, perhaps LGBT+-people).