u/rude_steppenwolf

My ex is constantly bringing up her alleged IQ in random conversations about unrelated topics. We’re both doing medical school. One of the first conversations we had (as total strangers) was about her IQ. I remember saying that I struggled as a child due to my autism and she immediately said that she struggled too but due to her giftedness. Fast forward a couple of months and she self-diagnosed autism + ADHD. She mirrored my behavior and it looked fake as hell. 

In each conversation she just has to mention she has a very high IQ of 138. To this day almost everyone in our generation knows her IQ. I’m not denying giftedness exists and it has its own set of challenges. I myself have been identified as gifted with an IQ of 145. It’s the way she says it. Kind of like she’s a better person for being intellectually gifted. When we dated she even admitted she thinks she’s superior to others that don’t have her cognitive abilities. 

I’ve never seen the actual papers and I thought it rude at the moment to ask about it but I highly doubt her giftedness. She intensely lied about having autism and ADHD so why would her giftedness be true?

It just rubs me the wrong way. I feel like she definitely has something going on, it’s not autism or ADHD though. And it’s probably not giftedness either.

I’m 25F and my friend is 23M. We’ve been friends for over eight years. We met in high school. We were both the “weird kids” so we kind of got along pretty well. Just for context, I’m autistic myself and later in life we attended group therapy together. It was a social skills group for autistic adults. 

The thing is, lately he’s been having behaviors that I believe overpass certain limits. He sends me over 15 Instagram reels a day, responds to almost all my Instagram stories and sends me Whatsapp messages when I don’t reply via Instagram. I feel very overwhelmed and I also feel kind of guilty that I reply so little. 

He also makes inappropriate comments about my physical appearance such as criticizing my tattoos, telling me I would look more feminine with longer hair, commenting on how I look better now that I’m not so skinny, etc. And he also has many opinions about partners I’ve had in the past. He doesn’t “like” the women I tend to pick for partners. I think he also doesn’t like that I’m a lesbian since he sometimes asks if I ever liked a boy or if there’s a chance that I might like a boy.

The other day I was home alone and he suddenly appeared at my door at 1 am wanting to talk. He explained that he feels kind of sad regarding our relationship because he feels like I’m being cold and distancing myself. For context, last year I had severe depression and I’m currently recovering so this might be true. However, I had explained multiple times in the past six months that I was not texting him (or any friends) as much due to struggling with depression. He didn’t seem satisfied with that answer. I also told him I feel overwhelmed by his multiple text messages I get every single day and that I cannot respond to everything since I’m a medical student. I have very little free time.

I also asked him if he felt something for me. He answered that “it’s complicated” and that he doesn’t know. I kind of get the feeling that he’s VERY attached to me. I feel very uncomfortable. 

As an autistic person myself I find all of this extremely overwhelming, awkward and uncomfortable. I don’t know how to reject him clearly and politely. Anyone with a similar experience?