Have a strong urge to give my man road head. Is it hard for men to concentrate on driving if someone is blowing them?? Is it safe? I would never want to put us in danger!
EDIT: thanks for replies! This is why I asked. In movies/TV it always seems to be done while driving and not pulled over, which is exactly why I asked!! I’ll keep it in fantasy-land or pull over!
Need a read on this new connection please!
TDLR: I’m in a happy open marriage and almost never pursue people, but I developed a huge crush on a single man 15 years older than me. We had a great meeting, which led to me telling him I’m in an open marriage, and he left saying he’d visit my business before heading away with family. Now I’m wondering whether he picked up on my interest, whether he’s interested too, or if the lack of contact is just because he’s busy with family.
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My husband and I have been open for almost 3 years and we allow each other full trust to have any kind of connection/relationship we want. Also to say, I am pursued a lot, but never ever reciprocate, but this time I initiated this and I have a major crush.
This man I’m interested in is in his mid-50s, I’m mid-30s, so there’s about a 15-year age gap, but there’s also a lot of life overlap: we both have kids, both run businesses in our area, both are independent and kind of well known where we live, and he has a complicated family setup with 2 children in 2 different countries (he’s very involved/goes for weeks at a time to see them)/exes on good terms. He is single and very much living his own life.
A few weeks ago, he interacted with me online, I checked him out, thought he was hot, so I literally slid into his DMs. I introduced myself and told him that we must have lots of overlap (due to mutual connections and similar industries. I am newer to the place we live, so I haven’t come in contact with him yet). I really wasn’t sure if he knew this was for personal curiosity or if he thought it was all business, because I invited him originally to my place of work. He responded very positively, wanted to meet, but wanted to do coffee. Cool.
He was happy/made it very easy to meet me for a coffee last weekend. He immediately ran through his career and personal life history, including giving me a solid background about his children and exes (he was explicit that they were exes/explained the context multiple times, so it was very much a mix of career (which I think was because he came prepared to find the overlap I promised we had) and personal topics, ones you wouldn’t necessarily disclose for a pure networking meeting. He seemed to want to give an accurate portrayal of his home life, so to speak, and life in general. He also made it clear early on he would be traveling for a week with his son and then the son AND the ex would be coming back to stay with him for a few weeks.
I then went through my history and told him fairly early on I was married and had kids. I didn’t catch a reaction, but it was new info to him. Maybe he thought it was a networking meeting once he heard married. But then as the convo went on - my ONLY goal for the initial meeting was to let him know I was married but available, I didn’t want him leaving thinking I was off limits but I also didn’t want to proposition him (he is well known/it’s delicate/my husband and I are private) - he said something that made me mention I’ve been married for a long time but that we give each other a lot of freedom. So then he literally interrupted me and blurted out “are you separated?” I said “no, we’re open” and he smiled and we kept on talking for another hour. It was all subtle. I wanted the open admission to come as an answer to something he asked and SOMEHOW, it was. He asked! He asked for my current relationship status. Does it mean anything?
We parted ways, with his promise (multiple times, without me asking!!) to come visit my business soon. The next day, he liked a photo on Instagram of my business. And after, I messaged him to thank him for his time, told him to enjoy his trip with his child, and that I’d see him around soon. He responded it was his pleasure and yes. Nothing since in 5 days, but as of today he’s traveling with family and then back here with family for a few weeks.
So now I’m left with no contact since and crushing HARD. I need a vibe check! do we think :
- is he treating this as businsss only? we did discuss careers, he gave me some advice, but there was no mention of collaborating or anything like that
- does he now know my intention (that my open relationship admission was on purpose) or because it was revealed as an answer to his question, do you think he doesn’t know I’m interested?? Like was the open admission TOO matter of fact?
- do we think he’s interested in at least seeing me again to continue the conversation ?? I’m not assuming he knows what he wants form me yet, but I’m hopeful that he wants another meeting with me so we could more openly discuss my arrangement and if we’d be compatible
- why hasn’t he contacted me before he goes away with family/family comes here / does it mean anything that he hasn’t?
- do we think he’ll contact me when he’s back and has some time away from family?
- if I don’t hear from him by 3 weeks (again his family will airplanes be with him for longer than that), do I casually get in contact? If so, what do I say?
- like, is his lack of conversation now indicative that he’s not interested or right now, life is happening and it’s not a good time to start something
- is this situation appealing to him potentially ( I don’t want more kids marriage cohabitating finances and it’s obvious he’s past that stage in his life? He’s single but doubtful enm or he would have mentioned it, but to me - barring him being anti-ENM - it’s kind of a great set up)…
Haaaaalp!!