u/saultba

Yesterday I posted about how nervous I was for my breast reconstruction. Well today I had it done and everything went so well!

All the hospital staff were extremely kind and helpful. I was worried I'd have to pay something beforehand but I did not. The worst part honestly was getting the IV put in because it took the nurse two tries. After I woke up I was shaky and crying uncontrollable but not upset at all, it was just a physical reaction. The nurse said it was normal and gave me a couple blankets. I was terrified that i would wake up and immediately regret my decision but that was not the case at all. Actually my only little bit of regret is saying no when the surgeon asked if I'd like to get bigger implants if they fit lol. I had some pain in the recovery room which they medicated me for and then i was fine. Currently having minor pain about 4 hours later, about to take my dose of pain killers. I was very awake and alert and felt refreshed after waking up. I was given oxycodone for pain relief, zofran for nausea, and doxycycline antibiotics.

If you're considering reconstruction feel free to ask me questions about the process. Thank you, seriously, from the bottom of my heart, everyone who took a second to comment on my last post. It helped me so so much.

I went from feeling super excited to extremely anxious this past weekend. I know unequivocally that I want these implants, I can't keep living with the burden of having no breasts and brooding about what I lost when I was just 16. But now that it's actually happening I'm so scared about getting there on time, going under the knife, paying for it. The hospital wanted me to prepay an amount double what my insurance said it would be because they miscalculated my coinsurance. The lady I spoke to in billing was really kind and noted the discrepancy in my chart and said I wouldn't have to prepay but it still screwed with my head. I could pay it if it was that much but it would suck since I was saving for grad school.

I also have OCD, it was debilitating when I was younger and I had gotten to a point where it wasn't really affecting my life anymore but since like friday I've been experiencing a wave of intrusive thoughts and compulsions, performing my old rituals. And now I'm worried that the stress will affect my healing 🤦‍♀️

Again I really do want this surgery. I've wanted it for longer than I was on T. But going into my mastectomy as a teenager I didn't have any of this medical anxiety and it's caught me way off guard. It's especially hard because most of my friends aren't aware that I'm detrans so I don't have a lot of people to talk to. Anyways, vent over, I'd appreciate some kind words and reassurance, especially if you've had a successful reconstruction.