u/scissormetimbers888

I lost the love of my life January 2025. I am absolutely certain I have PTSD from losing her as I’ve had other losses that have not affected me like this. I am still to this very day, completely lost and devastated. Like I’m not exaggerating when I say I’ve questioned if I can even go on without her.

I had adopted her from the shelter as a baby who was very sick, less than 2 lbs as she was being treated for a URI and found in an alley. Estimated to be less than 2 months old.

My Bella made it to 14 years old in October of 2024, and I lost her in January of 2025.

I saw some friends last year, in December for the holiday. One who is a volunteer for a cat rescue who knew about Bella and when we sat for dinner, she asked me why I was still grieving a year later. She asked me this because she saw that I no longer had that light in me… she had not seen me in months, prior to losing Bella. She mentioned her daughter lost her husband and was “ok after 6 months”, but I’m not normal because I’m still grieving the loss of a cat a year later. This was from a friend who should understand of all people, rescuing cats.

She also said Bella at 14 “died too young”, and it’s on “the younger side that she died”, which made me feel worse and question if I did enough for my girl and that maybe I could have done more to keep her here longer.

Here I am, over 1.5 years after I lost the most precious thing that lit up my entire life and I still question if I could have done more, and that maybe I would still have her in my arms right now.

I lost the love of my life January 2025. I am absolutely certain I have PTSD from losing her as I’ve had other losses that have not affected me like this. I am still to this very day, completely lost and devastated. Like I’m not exaggerating when I say I’ve questioned if I can even go on without her.

I had adopted her from the shelter as a baby who was very sick, less than 2 lbs as she was being treated for a URI and found in an alley. Estimated to be less than 2 months old.

My Bella made it to 14 years old in October of 2024, and I lost her in January of 2025.

I saw some friends last year, in December for the holiday. One who is a volunteer for a cat rescue who knew about Bella and when we sat for dinner, she asked me why I was still grieving a year later. She asked me this because she saw that I no longer had that light in me… she had not seen me in months, prior to losing Bella. She mentioned her daughter lost her husband and was “ok after 6 months”, but I’m not normal because I’m still grieving the loss of a cat a year later. This was from a friend who should understand of all people, rescuing cats.

She also said Bella at 14 “died too young”, and it’s on “the younger side that she died”, which made me feel worse and question if I did enough for my girl and that maybe I could have done more to keep her here longer.

Here I am, over 1.5 years after I lost the most precious thing that lit up my entire life and I still question if I could have done more, and that maybe I would still have her in my arms right now.

I just wanted to gather opinions on this, because I am a spiritual person and I truly want to believe we all have souls, including our beloved pets. There’s heaven, the rainbow bridge…

When we go, do our souls truly live on and we’re reunited with our loved ones or is it just the end? I know that we can’t really know but what are your beliefs? Or anyone who has experienced an NDE, have you seen your pet?

I desperately want to know if I really will see my Bella and be able to hold her again. I keep calling for her to visit me in my dreams but she hasn’t. If I can’t see her now, when I die, will I?

Sorry I know I’m rambling but my heart is gone. I feel like my soul is gone. I miss my Bella and just want to hold her.

I just wanted to gather opinions on this, because I am a spiritual person and I truly want to believe we all have souls, including our beloved pets. There’s heaven, the rainbow bridge…

When we go, do our souls truly live on and we’re reunited with our loved ones or is it just the end? I know that we can’t really know but what are your beliefs? Or anyone who has experienced an NDE, have you seen your pet?

I desperately want to know if I really will see my Bella and be able to hold her again. I keep calling for her to visit me in my dreams but she hasn’t. If I can’t see her now, when I die, will I?

Sorry I know I’m rambling but my heart is gone. I feel like my soul is gone. I miss my Bella and just want to hold her.

Everyone, I’m breaking down. Lost my kitty, my baby, Bella, almost 1.5 AGO. SERIOUSLY. Jan 5 2025 she left. Why? Why am I going off the deep end. I can’t stop crying for my baby and love of my life why is it so so hard me to go on

I am still struggling so hard with the loss of my Bella. My baby I had for 14 years that I lost January 5, 2025. She all of a sudden had labored breathing and I rushed her to the ER. They were able to stabilize her, found out she had pleural effusion (fluid in her lungs) likely due to a heart condition that I knew nothing about. She had kidney disease that was being managed well and monitored. No mention of any heart issues so this was a shock.

I was able to bring her home the following days after they drained the fluid but within hours she started gasping for air again and I had to rush her back in. They put her on oxygen and stabilized her but told me this was going to happen again and her heart just couldn’t take it anymore so it was best to put her to rest. I was a mess and the vets just sort of rotated and each kept trying to convince me to please let her go because she was likely to pass that night if I brought her home.

I made the awful decision and when the time came, she was on a cold table struggling to breathe again while the vets were administering the meds and I stood over her and was talking to her while I was crying and telling her it’s ok to go.

I keep replaying that over and over and wonder if she was thinking I was hurting her before she took her last breath because she felt me and heard me. I have a hard time living with this in mind and can’t cope with not having my girl with me anymore this pain is excruciating.

I lost my beautiful kitty, Bella, January 5, 2025. After all this time, I haven’t moved on. I have two other kitties including a sweet little void I just adopted almost 5 months ago who looks and acts just like Bella, it’s quite adorable.

After losing my girl, I would occasionally have a dream about her. Not often, but in my dream, I would “feel” her and it seems like she was with me. This would put me at peace although I would end up waking up crying after figuring out it wasn’t real. I haven had a dream about her in months and I feel like that feeling is fading away and I’m panicking about her just becoming a memory in my head versus feeling her presence anymore, if that makes any sense.

I am still suffering tremendously, and I don’t tell anyone around me. Apologies if this is triggering anyone but I honestly have gone to the point where I feel like I just have no will to live anymore. I cry so much, I feel like I don’t even exist. Sure when I’m with family or at work I appear fine, put together. The truth is that it’s a facade and that feeling of emptiness never leaves. I’ll smile when something is funny, I’ll be at work involved and presenting in meetings pretending like I even know what I’m talking about. However, Bella is in the back of my mind and my heart is just completely broken. I’m just existing. Functioning. I am bawling my eyes out just writing this. I hate my life, all I want is to be reunited with my baby.