u/seIc0uth

I really wish I was white sometimes, I know it's wrong but it feels as if my life would be so much easier if i was white. It feels like no one wants black women, especially if their darkskin. Ive been bullied and belittled and stereotyped for my skin so many times and im just so sick of it all. These days ive been too embarrased to even leave my house all because i dont want to be percieved by anyone. Im tired of hating myself but the only way i would be able to fix that is by using bleaching creams and i dont want any sort of kidney failure or skin issue with comes with those creams. Im just so sick of it all and i want it to end.

As the title says, I hate everything about my life.

I am a female living in Ghana, and I hate it here so badly I don't know what to do anymore.

My parents supported by a group of teachers verbally abusing me from the 7th to 8th grade leading me to develop a stupid eating disorder i cant seem to get rid of. I was moved to a boarding school in Year 9, where I am frequently verbally abused by people senior to me and forced to hard labour despite my back issues. Due to this i have also relapsed self harming after being almost four months clean

I've told my parents about it multiple times, but they don't care, and I don't know what to do anymore. I genuinely can't take it. To add to all of this, I've just found out that my scoliosis curve has progressed by over 10 degrees since the last time I got it checked, and my parents are talking about getting me a spine brace and are still sending me back to the boarding house I'm at.

I'm seriously contemplating suicide. I don't even know what to do anymore. I'm so afraid of going back to that place. I cant even enjoy my summer break, all i do is cut myself and cry all the time and i just want it all to end.