So easier today I got an email saying my finacial aid summary has been updated. As soon as I check it I was expecting an increase or a scholarship but it's showing my tap for the spring semester as being completely removed. I got tap this semester and on the rap website it still says I will recieve it I emailed the fas office but I'm stressing out.
Salam everyone, I’m a 19 (turning 20) year old guy, and this post may be strange but I’m just looking for some brutally honest advice because I’m completely stuck right now.
Living in New York, I’m constantly surrounded by the Yemeni community. To be completely real, I didn’t know much about Yemeni culture before getting to know a few acquaintances around here. But man, the way they carry themselves has completely changed my perspective on things. They are hands down some of the kindest, most respectful people I have ever met. The way they speak, the way they treat people you can just see their character radiating from them.
It honestly makes me think of the Hadith about faith and wisdom being Yemeni. You can literally see it in how seriously they take their Islam. As a guy who tries his best to stay upon the deen and avoid fitna, seeing that level of sincerity is something I respect immensely.
Lately, it’s got me thinking a lot about my own future. If Allah blesses me with kids one day, I want to instill those exact same standards in them. I want my home to have that exact blend of respect, kindness, and strong morals. Because I respect the culture and the people so much, I’ve genuinely realized that I want to marry a Yemenia of someone with the character of one.
But here is my problem: I am an insanely pale, blonde "American". I was born Muslim, but physically, I stick out.
I made a joke about wanting to marry a Yemenia to one of my closer friends recently, and he flat out swore by Allah that I have absolutely zero chance and started laughing. That honestly hit me way harder than I expected it to, and it’s been messing with my head ever since.
I can't just go up to the brothers I know and ask them to help me find someone. I’m terrified they’ll think it’s some kind of weird fetishization or that I’m not taking their culture seriously, when the reality is that I just have so much love and respect for who they are as people. And I understand yemenis are very defensive about their families so even bringing up the idea may lead to misunderstandings and conflict. I don't want to overstep or make my friends uncomfortable. So I’m just trying to navigate this completely on my own.
So I’m asking you guys: Was my friend right? Is my chance actually zero? And if it’s not completely impossible, how does someone like me even go about this respectfully? How do I even find someone when I’m too scared to ask the people around me?
The Basics
Age & Location: 19 | New York (East Coast)
Status & Timeline: Single, never married. Looking to marry within the next year / as soon as possible.
Age Preference: 18+
Appearance & Build
Stats: 5'8" | 150 lbs
Looks: I'm a pretty average looking guy with fair skin, light golden blonde hair, and light brown eyes. I’m average height but have a slight wider physique and a bit more muscle than your average guy since I enjoy working out.
School & Work
Current Setup: I’m a full-time college student about to start my second year. I’m majoring in Accounting with a Finance minor, and hopefully adding an Arabic minor soon. Right now, I work part-time as a medical receptionist at a local clinic and split rent with a roommate.
Future Goals: I'm insanely ambitious and believe that if I set my mind to something, by the will of Allah, I can achieve it. Once I graduate, my goal is to start my accounting career, buy my own home, and build a stable life.
About Me & My Deen
My Practice: I follow the Athari aqeedah and lean toward a traditional practice of Islam, similar to salafis, but I wouldn't exactly label myself anything.. When it comes to seeking knowledge, I mostly read books about the deen and listen to scholars from Saudi Arabia. I try my best to avoid unnecessary talking with women to keep myself away from fitna, which is a big reason why I want to get married young.
Who I Am: I’m a disciplined, patient, and generally positive guy who is just trying to find my place in the world. I want to build a life where I belong, and more importantly, create a space where the people around me feel comfortable and like they belong. I try to move through life without getting stressed or obsessed over the little details. No matter how tough things get, I try to look at the bright side and put my full trust in Allah to carry me through.
My Personality: I'm a bit anxious when it comes to breaking the ice, but if you approach me, I can carry a conversation completely fine! I always try to be as respectful and kind as possible to everyone, but I also love to joke around. Once I get comfortable with someone, I start making stupid, goofy jokes and will just sit laughing by myself even if everyone else didn't find it funny.
Interests: Working out, reading, and self-improvement. I’m also a big fan of nature I love going outside, laying in the grass, visiting the mountains, or just falling asleep by a river. I'm also a big foodie.
Why I'm Looking Online
I'm navigating life in New York entirely on my own, and I don't have any family here to help introduce me to anyone. Because of my uncommon features it’s a bit tough for me to naturally blend in at the masjid, and people don't always strike up conversations with me. Since I'm also too nervous to just go up and ask the Imam for help, looking online felt like the best and most respectful way to find a partner.
What I'm Looking For
The Main Things: I’m looking for someone who will truly be my best friend for life. I want a partner who is genuinely kind, patient, and family-oriented. Character and a good heart matter way more to me than where you are from.
A Little Romance: I’m a bit of a romantic at heart. I want to be able to do goofy couple stuff together, go on little hangouts, and visit beautiful outdoor places that I wouldn't really go to alone.
Past: I am looking for someone who doesn't have a past or previous relationships, so we can experience everything for the first time together.
Preferences (Not Dealbreakers): I'm totally open to any culture or ethnicity! But I do have a slight personal preference for olive or light brown skin tones, wavy or curly hair, and someone who is 5'3 or taller.