My best friend is getting married. Should I go?
We (29,F) have been best friends since high school. I would spend every Christmas Eve at her (we will call her P) house for dinner. We went to college in the same city, she was one of my bridesmaids, and I visit her in NYC where she met her wonderful gem of a future husband.
We all had a very solid friend group in high school and that also kept close in college and after. We are a 50/50 split of men and women in the friend group. There are certain people in the friend group I choose to stay away from (bc their overall personality is awful and they are not a good people).
A backstory:
I had a small wedding in march of 2023. My close high school friends were invited.
Months after my intimate wedding, I invited them to celebrate my birthday in July. P was not in town so she did not attend. The night was fun and a lot of alcohol was had.
I went to the bathroom to do a bump of coke with one of my high school male friends in the restroom. After we were done with the bump, he groped my bare vagina.
I was so thrown off and upset. I said to him, “you just groped me.” He said, “no I didn’t.” And I said “yes you did.” He left the stall. I went to go tell another good friend of mine what he did. She told me to stop talking so loudly, and said that I was lying. “Why would I believe you? He just told me it didn’t happen.”
I was so hurt. I won’t go into detail but I had to go to a mental hospital for 5 weeks as a consequence of all of what transpired for my birthday.
The context:
Months later I tell P what happened at the birthday. She is shocked. I see her again a few months later and I bring it up to her, and she is acting as though she had heard about this for the first time. I have to explain it again. This happens another time; where I have to remind her I was groped by our good friend from high school and our good female friend didn’t believe me and called me a liar.
Months later, I find out the groper is having his birthday trip for the big 30 in Guatemala and I ask P if she is going and she says she is. I am hurt. He sexually assaulted me?
I think that bc he just groped me they don’t take it seriously. I am still in agony over it.
The wedding:
The groper, the girl that called me a liar, and all of our friends who have now excommunicated me for announcing he groped me are all going. It is in Italy. It is a big trip.
She is my best friend and I love her soon to be husband. I want to support her for her nuptials. But I don’t think I will be in a good headspace seeing the man that groped me and the person that accused me of lying for it.
Do I go and suck it up? Or do I sit it out?