Just an intrusive thought that's been on my mind lately
Okay so for context beforehand of my intrusive thoughts (I promise this is on topic), my grandpa passed away in February and after his passing my grandma had gone thru his phone just checking his Facebook or if anyone had called and she discovered that in the weeks before his passing he was looking up his old highschool girlfriend on Facebook. No interaction, just looking her up. After 47 years of marriage he still thought about his highschool girlfriend from the 70s??? No hate to my grandpa, I know he loved my grandma but the thought that after decades of marriage to someone they still think about their first scares me
I (20f) have a boyfriend of my own (26M) and I struggle with RJ big time, sometimes it goes radio silent for a while and all is well but sometimes it's louder than a megaphone in the back of my mind. Lately I've been thinking about that one thing in particular and I honestly genuinely wonder, what if my bf does think about his own highschool girlfriend? Like what if that's just a thing that men do? I know for certain he had one, lost his v card to her too. I wonder if sometimes he misses her or if sometimes without me knowing it he gets reminded of her even when I'm with him. I know I can't control that, he's 6 years older than me so he was bound to have a past, but idk it still bothers me that some girl got him first, especially since he was my first everything and I'm his first nothing. And it bothers me more with the thought that even if I dedicate my whole life to loving him what if he'll still think about her decades from now? Even if he says he doesn't think about her, what if that's just a lie to be considerate of me? Idk, I feel crazy y'all :(