I found the love of my life but logistics mean we probably can’t be together long term. Any advice?
Been together with my absolute soulmate for 4 years. We met on a holiday. I’m a city girl from the UK and he’s a country boy from Germany. It didn’t feel like a LDR because we’re together so much it’s only a 1 hour flight. Our families love the other.
We are absolutely built for each other to the core. Cannot imagine life without each other. We thought we could figure out a third location or one of our home countries to live in after a few years so we can start out life, get married and have a family.
Sadly, I tried living in his home town and it was just a major clash for me and I was not happy I felt crippled in a village. And him, well his job is the major obstacle that wherever else he goes he will ruin his career streak and be financially worse off. I get that yes he could take a pay cut or career downgrade if it means we’ll be together but also he is worried about being able to provide for our family in the future and it makes him concerned.
Also, where he lives he has a huge bunch of friends, family and can do all his favorite hobbies like hiking and cycling which other places don’t really offer, especially not London…
I know he loves me so much and any time we have even mentioned the possibility of not being together he breaks into tears and sounds devastated. I feel the same.
We’re both in our early 30s too so all friends are getting married and having kids and now I really am starting to feel I want that too. Even my parents are getting concerned that time is passing and they fear I won’t be able to have a family etc.
Anytime we have this conversation there doesn’t seem to be any solution at the end of it. Just a lot of I don’t knows and only time can tell etc. I’m so sad and just don’t want to be with anyone else. The thought of other men and dating makes me sick.
He can’t give me a timeline by which he will have a plan in place or an answer. He just says he’s working on seeing what can be the way forward. On our last call he said it’s definitely not going to be in the next year, could even be 5 years and still I haven’t found a solution.
What do I do now? Leave him and just be alone and miserable and not even have him in my life at all (sounds like hell to me) or stay and take the risk that even if in a few years he still has not found a solution we walk away and at least I had more time with him but I’ll be 35 and almost certainly will be a lonely cat lady.