u/shortstack-97

Basically the title. I'm 28F, she's 56F. She speaks highly of me to other people. She loves to brag about me and show me off publicly. She loves that face wise I look just like her and that people mistake me for a teenager because of my baby face.

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In private there are so many comments that are either negative or neutral in tone where she is commenting or criticizing:

• my body

• my clothing style

• my personal interests

• my hair not being tame enough for her taste and how I take care of my hair

• my work ethic

• my higher education journey that was complicated by a previously undiagnosed disability

• social justice issues

• randomly dropping that she didn't like something I did > 1 year ago

• my religious beliefs or lack thereof

• the list goes on

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It's exhausting. It's maddening. When fluctuating between complimenting (or pretending to compliment) something about me, only for her to weeks or months later criticize me for the exact same thing.

I feel like I'm being gaslit. She either says nothing like this when other people are around or makes it sound like a noxious comment. So no one has a full context for this. And if I try to tell other people they think I'm over reacting.

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Her most recent fixation has been trying to convince me to go to her house twice a month to let her do my hair so she can get it to grow long. She feels like Mother Gothel from Tangled now when she asks to do my hair. It feels like she has contradictory intentions for me and is trying to sap my energy and force me to love her more when she does my hair. I largely avoid letting her touch my hair unless I'm having a mayday hair situation while at her house.

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I can't talk this out with her because

1. She does not in any way take criticism well

2. Her subconscious issues with me stem from several deep rooted self confidence issues and childhood trauma that I can't do anything for

3. She is a stereotypical youngest child, slightly narcissistic and will hijack the conversation into whatever I've done wrong to her

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I am low-medium contact with her. I don't live with her. I don't allow her to help me financially. I largely do not talk to her about school, work, etc.

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I went no contact with her for several months last year minus courtesy "I'm alive and fine text responses to her". I've been trying to slowly build a relationship with her outside of the aspects about me that seem like a subconscious issue for her. But she just can't get past it.

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So here I am, stuck venting on reddit. Thank you for listening.

Guys, it is our time to infiltrate. The president & CEO positions at NBME and NBOME are currently open. We could lead both organizations.

We could improve medical education for all. Until we stay in the role long enough to see ourselves become the villain.

NBME listing

https://www.imsearch.com/open-searches/nbme-president
https://nbme.applicantpro.com/jobs/3902397

NBOME listing

https://www.nbome.org/join-us/