u/shrekismydaddy_

Hello guys! I am living in Germany and am looking for fellow struggling students lol.

I feel like I’m running out of time (even though I know I am not) and I feel like I’m behind everyone (like everybody in uni feels). But there are also struggles that lie deeper and fears that stop me from accomplishing a lot of my goals. I am soon turning 24 but it still feels like I’ve newly become an adult. The hardships of the twenties are just so annoying and stupid and yet so heavy. And I have nobody I can share my thoughts with.

I have plenty of real life friends who I appreciate and all love and who I know love me back. But lately I feel so disconnected to all of them. I can’t open up anymore and if I do, I feel like I’m talking about myself too much. And in university I do not have any friends. So I decided to try out finding a penpal.

This being said I am not looking for a penpal who I can simply use to complain to LMAO. I need a penpal who is struggling the same so we can push each other, motivate each other (but ofc still complain to each other too). Someone who knows what it’s like to be 20 something and be lonely in uni. Where we can share our fears, hopes, goals and anything in between. Someone who I can philosophize (?) with about even the littlest things. Someone whose perspective will challenge my own mind and someone I can share deeper things with. Because what is better than opening to a stranger online right?? Right????🤡

Of course i also do not only want to talk about heavy and philosophical things, we can talk about anything. I am open to anyone and everyone who can give me new insights about things I never knew about, new cultures, new thoughts anything. And of course someone who is just as eager about learning about my thoughts.

I like to write, read, draw and do a lot of crafty creative hobbies. I like kpop, kdrama, anime, learning about new cultures, learning languages, finding new music and a lot too many things to actually list here lmao.

I really like to decorate my letters with stickers and other stuff but I do NOT require for you to do the same. I am already very happy if it’s just a plain simple letter with the messiest handwriting, since it’s of course the contents of your letter I’m looking most forward to : D

I am open to anybody from anywhere with any interest. Even if you are my complete opposite, I feel like it I would be even more fun. My only requirement would be people that are in their twenties.

I only look for snailmail since im really bad at answering messages and mails lol im better of with slow letters (and its more fun hehe)

I look forward to meeting everybody ^^

I know friendships between men and friendships between women are completely different. But i always wondered why so many men do not even have the need for a best friend? I couldnt imagine having nobody to talk to random shit about or to ask for advice for the most random shit. But it seems to me that men really ever only do these things when they are REALLY in desperate need for advice for example. So many men are satisfied with more shallow friendships (which isnt particularily bad) than most women and i wondered why that is.

I am a university student and am studying mathematics, therefore consistent studying is very important for me or else i wont be able to keep up. I struggle real hard with doing so though and i have recently noticed after going into myself for a bit, that it is because of the fear of failure. I am afraid to fail and worse than that, i am afraid to fail after i have been putting my everything into it. I am afraid that months of work of studying will still lead to failing and therefore me doing anything wont really do anything. So my brain just hinders me and takes all my study drive away just to tell me it doesnt change anything if i do or do not study. So i rather spend my time watching shows/videos or doing other hobbies instead of studying because at least then i have fun doing it and it will still be "the same outcome" (even though i cant even properly enjoy doing these things because i do them all stressed with the studying back in my mind). The bigger problem is this is very deep internally so simply telling myself "months work of studying will pay out" or "Failure is part of learning and growing" doesnt help at all because its just so deeply engraved into me that i a simple mindset change wont change it (at least it was like that until now).

This also causes me to dumb myself down. I unintentionally dumb myself down in front of others, because then they would have no expectations of me and therefore wont be disappointed (?) when i do make a dumb take. Again this is all subconsciously and i only noticed recently.

I really have absolutely no idea what to do. I know this obviously comes from self-doubt and having no confidence and being really insecure with myself, but i have no idea how to change all that. And i know it will probably take years to change that. But as a desperate student i would like to know if anybody struggles the same and if yes how did you overcome it? How do i actively change that habit and that way of thinking?