u/silentnekovt

I know it's a silly thing to think...but I just can't help it. I feel the damn thing every minute of every day and it's made me doubt that I even am trans even though I know that I am...it's a constant mental and physical battle, not even including my other dysphoria. I feel like such a failure of a trans girl and so invalid because of it...I can't get hurt or any kind of surgery yet so I'm just stuck with it for now. Sorry...I just had to get that out

So I've made a post or two about this before and I just really need some advice on it again...my bottom dysphoria is killing me and I'm not on hrt yet. I always feel the thing, every time I move or even when I'm standing still. The hair down below doesn't help matters and it brings attention to the other parts. I'm unable to get anything to help with tucking as of right now, so if any of you girlies have advice about this, I would appreciate it so so so much.

A bit of context before I start. I am 18 years old and not on estrogen, and I also do not have clinical gender dysphoria. I have been diagnosed with clinical depression, anxiety, ADHD, and I'm pretty sure I'm autistic. My parents are both religious, transphobic, and emotionally abusive. I came out as trans last November. I've been involved in a few online communities that have sort of taken me in as their sister, and I view them as my found family. I communicate with them via discord. A few days ago, my parents found one of my bras. They confronted me about it and gave a great long speech about all the scientific and religious reasons why being trans, taking hormones, and having online friends is wrong and dangerous. I tried to articulate my feelings about myself but they dismissed the possibility that I'm trans outright. They think I'm either severely depressed, or just have low testosterone. My dad also said that if I start taking hormones, he "can't" support me. Then, as a cherry on top, after ripping apart my feelings and telling me to get off the Internet, they told me that all they're doing is looking out for me. They've been pressuring me to get off of discord, and I've been largely separated from my found family and my girlfriend. I'm losing hope that I can be the person I want to be, and maybe even announcing to anyone that I'm trans and trying to act on my feelings was a mistake. I know I'd be happier as a girl, clinical dysphoria or not...but maybe I should've pushed those feelings down, Any advice is appreciated, but I really wanted to get this out.

A bit of context before I start. I am 18 years old and not on estrogen, and I also do not have clinical gender dysphoria. I have been diagnosed with clinical depression, anxiety, ADHD, and I'm pretty sure I'm autistic. My parents are both religious, transphobic, and emotionally abusive. I came out as trans last November. I've been involved in a few online communities that have sort of taken me in as their sister, and I view them as my found family. I communicate with them via discord. Yesterday, my parents found one of my bras. They confronted me about it and gave a great long speech about all the scientific and religious reasons why being trans, taking hormones, and having online friends is wrong and dangerous. I tried to articulate my feelings about myself but they dismissed the possibility that I'm trans outright. They think I'm either severely depressed, or just have low testosterone. My dad also said that if I start taking hormones, he "can't" support me. Then, as a cherry on top, after ripping apart my feelings and telling me to get off the Internet, they told me that all they're doing is looking out for me. They've been pressuring me to get off of discord, and I've been largely separated from my found family and my girlfriend. I'm losing hope that I can be the person I want to be, and maybe even announcing to anyone that I'm trans and trying to act on my feelings was a mistake. I know I'd be happier as a girl, clinical dysphoria or not...but maybe I should've pushed those feelings down, Any advice is appreciated, but I really wanted to get this out.