u/simulationDevice

I sometimes think of past social experiences and realize I was awkward or cringe or clueless. So it makes me wonder if there is a way to notice in the moment when I am making something awkward or just not interacting the way most ppl expect.

I have trouble knowing if ppl want a handshake or fist bump. I try to keep small talk under 3 minutes. I always look away if a stranger notices I am looking in their general direction. I am not a casual hugger but will hug if ppl make it super apparent they are being warm.

What are some times you can't tell what ppl expect when you are around them?

I live in a large city. There are very few greenspaces to enjoy without seeing ppl rolling a doobie/blunt or vaping. I used to be able to sit in the park and breathe fresh air. I could take walks and put headphones on and breathe fresh air. It seems like 50% of the population wants to be high on skunk weed or vape some horribly scented chemicals. Why can't ppl smoke up at home and then head out? Why are vapes or blunts necessary to navigate society? Bleh.

Many ppl also seem to need a bluetooth speaker and play HORRIBLY DISTORTED music and disturb the peace everywhere. On buses and trains. During rush hour commutes. While standing on the corner VAPING AND SMOKING 😩😩😩

I ALREADY NEED noise cancelling headphones to avoid overstimulation. Do I have to buy a military grade gas mask to keep my lungs safe from so much polluted air??? I know I shouldnt live in this place but I get a lot of family support here.

How do you deal with these issues? If you do. Thanks for reading. 👋🏼

Do you use a wired headset with a mic? A podcast mic? Bluetooth earbuds? Looking for ideas, thanks 🌞👋🏼

I don't like getting together with family to mark another manufactured holiday. I DREAD days like today, father's day, birthdays, etc. I am not anti celebrations, just anti masking. I am sick of going through the motions, of being invisible, of being misunderstood, of seeing ppl ask if I'm ok, of knowing other ppl also don't want to play the part of ppl getting along.

Yesterday, my mom said she was sad that I didnt talk to my sister during gatherings and wanted to see us get along. My response was "No, this is not something I am going to talk about, I want to live in peace".

My sister likes to be confrontational during family gatherings and I asked her to email me so we could discuss things privately. I have been waiting 6 years for closure. My last email to her was basically "either you want to resolve issues and keep emailing or you dont and if so, DON'T TALK TO ME". She hasn't emailed since.

I don't want anyone involved, I don't want family as mediators, I don't want to be the family gossip topic, I don't want to repeat the same issues with no resolutions. I have earned my stubborn and moody rep which keeps family away. I would rather be alone than pretend everything is nice for family photos. Thanks for reading.

If you have any advice, pls share 🌞

I have been trying to find a good one or at least one that updates their listings. Or one for farmers' markets. Block parties too.

I was watching an episode of a show where a character explained how to assess whether or not someone may be a threat by referring to STAMP.

S is for staring into space/avoiding eye contact, T is for tone/volume of voice, A is for heightened anxiety, M is for mumbling and P is for pacing.

It made me a bit concerned, seeing as I would possibly be marked as a potential threat in a healthcare setting due to my anxiety level or degree to which I am masked. Also, my son is higher support needs than I am and on the spectrum as well. I worry for him when he is older and emotionally agitated. I don't want to mask harder but I suppose I have to model 'nonthreatening behavior' to my son.

Who should we behave more like?