u/skatedog_j

One family member is diagnosed pwBPD, identifies with quiet BPD. Another has very similar behaviors. I cut contact with both but reinitiated contact out of concern for a third family member. Third seemed depressed and I felt very guilty for not having family gatherings anymore. After just a few texts w pwBPD I am so anxious, CPTSD is back full force. It was a mistake to ever reach out at all. What is the cleanest way to go back to NC or at least feel less awful VLC? I thought I could deal w them but I just can't any advice would be really really appreciated.

Essentially, the two family members frequently triangulated me for not having a relationship w the other. They were not pleased w me pointing this out. I have always been the odd one out. The two have always gotten along very well.

When I reached out, pwBPD basically said they'd let me know if I had permission to go to upcoming family gathering. At this point I obviously realized my mistake and I need to exit this dynamic. Thank you in advance for any advice

I hope this is ok here, there is no sub for this.

I was warned about this person when I started this job. I didn't think it would be this bad, or that they would be borderline but here we are.

Some colleagues know how the person is, others don't realize it and enable them. I try to avoid them as much as possible, keep things to email/writing, but sometimes I still answer a call from them or they will call my office and another colleague passes their message to me. They'll ask anyone in my office for something they want, always things that are not our job to provide. Always things they're supposed to get elsewhere but bothering my colleagues is easier for them.

One trigger is if they're not included in a communication, they immediately split and become very hostile. One of my colleagues once had it noted in a performance review that this person felt she wasn't warm enough to this person. Because my colleague went to someone else for something very minor, because this person is awful.

My only other ideas have been to send an email to all my relevant colleagues, this person, and their colleague, and ask all emails include all of us. This will absolutely result in all of us getting emails we don't need. But I'm not sure what else to do.

Any advice would be so appreciated.

I was warned about this person when I started this job. I didn't think it would be this bad, or that they would be borderline but here we are.

Some colleagues know how the person is, others don't realize it and enable them. I try to avoid them as much as possible, keep things to email/writing, but sometimes I still answer a call from them or they will call my office and another colleague passes their message to me. They'll ask anyone in my office for something they want, always things that are not our job to provide. Always things they're supposed to get elsewhere but bothering my colleagues is easier for them.

One trigger is if they're not included in a communication, they immediately split and become very hostile. One of my colleagues once had it noted in a performance review that this person felt she wasn't warm enough to this person. Because my colleague went to someone else for something very minor, because this person is awful.

My only other ideas have been to send an email to all my relevant colleagues, this person, and their colleague, and ask all emails include all of us. This will absolutely result in all of us getting emails we don't need. But I'm not sure what else to do.

Any advice would be so appreciated.