u/skincare4friends

My husband and I currently are expecting our third and live outside the US in a HCOL city close to my parents. His parents are in their 70's and 80's and he's an only child so he wants to move back to a HCOL US city on the west coast to be able to help them.

Has anyone moved to help elderly parents/in-laws? How has it gone?

I'm anxious because my MIL and I historically have not gotten along. I've never met anyone like her. She comes off new age and free spirited but is actually one of the most difficult and judgemental people I've met. She says anything she thinks and is very hard to please.

I know going there is the right thing to do, they can't move to the country we're in because of their age. But I just lie awake at night wondering if I'm going to be miserable and resentful with less family help, less social help, and arguably more on my plate with 3 kids, helping them, and trying to figure out my mother in law.

Would love to hear from anyone who's been in a similar boat!

Just editing to add that right now my in laws are self sufficient, my FIL has cognitive decline and my MIL has physical ailments but together they make a fully functional person.

Hello,

I have a 3.5 year old and 1.5 year old and am currently expecting my third. We have been in a bad stretch of neither child sleeping through the night and they without fail wake each other up. Last night my 3.5 year old started screaming at 11 pm and was inconsolable. Couldn't tell you why. My 1.5 year old woke up and was up for over an hour until I gave up and slept on the floor next to the crib. He seems to be in a period of separation anxiety. They were both sleep trained but we share walls in our townhome and while I can let them cry, I just can't do it for hours or let them scream.

Does anyone have tips for how to prevent them from waking each other? Or how to get them to sleep more solidly?

I'm completely panicked about how we'll manage our third this way.

Thanks!

Hello! I have a 3.5 and 1.5 year old in Canada and am expecting my third in December . My kids are currently in a subsidized daycare at a Montessori school close to home. I do all morning drop offs and half the pick ups, my mom does the other half of pick ups. Honestly I already find it a challenge getting to work on time every day with drop off. We have two choices for day care and I'm struggling with what makes sense. I don't parent well when I'm overwhelmed already and really feel motivated to mitigate that.

Option 1: public kindergarten walking distance from my parents with aftercare and 5 min drive from our current daycare. Cost is low, just something for aftercare Option 2: private kindergarten at our current daycare. My youngest would still have subsidized daycare fees but the kindergarten is 2k a month (about 1,500 more than what we currently are paying). This really would just save me from two drop offs and two pick ups.

I will probably be back to work part time at 3 months with my parents helping. Full time by a year when the daycare would accept my 3rd. We can swing the Montessori kindergarten fees but it would mean no savings and tightening our belts.

I'd love opinions from anyone who's had to do two drop offs or has had a third! Am I doomed for two drop offs eventually anyway and should cut my losses? Or will the money be worth my sanity while adjusting to 3?

Thanks!