u/sloppyslipper9

For the past 1-2 weeks my head has been quite itchy not a lot for anyone to notice but enough to make me tell the difference. I feel a crawling sensation time to time and i was scared and I think I have hair breakage but not a lot like when i scratch my head when i shower its visible.

Today I found a louse in my head while I was showering but I didn't use a comb or anything it just came out and I used a lot of conditioner to examine my scalp with a fine toothed comb but I couldn't find anything I think I did fine 1-2 more but that's about it. I'm worried I didn't do it properly though like I didn't section my hair.

And I felt maybe its over but when I was sitting rn I felt the itch again and I found another insect but this time it was moving and before I could inspect it more closely it went away (not in my hair). Idk im scared what to do I feel scratching and using comb would hurt my scalp and at the same time dermatologist sounds costly because where I live and my financial condition. I cannot tell my parents about this either.

Another thing worth mentioning is I have an itch all over my body like I get the urge maybe on arms chest neck ears so maybe scalp is like that too and im confusing it for something else but the fact I saw those insects is really bothering me not to mention the crawling sensation. Please help me out

Hello I am 21M residing in Karachi and I'm not even sure why I'm writing this, maybe to get a better perspective of someone older and mature because I do not have access to anyone as such outside of my family, which happens to be the problem.

Bit of context before you read: I'm about to start my fifth semester and I'm earning very very little I just have one tuition kid and because of that my situation is really fucked up. Not having any elder siblings or a mentor has made things worse, I really don't have any trusted adult.

My parents have always provided the basics, they really did a lot for me when I was a kid (even paying my university tuition rn) but there were always signs of toxicity and narcissism. I was this golden kid (mujhe tab bhi maar parti thi but nevertheless they weren't ashamed of me) and as I approach my 20s I've realized its getting very toxic and exhausting living here.

Firstly, they have problems with my appearance. I've had curly hair for a long time but I never really understood how to manage it and they always appeared coarse and I kept them really short, it looked bad on me. They were fine with that but when I grew them out (ear length) I realized they look much better and the curls I have now are more defined. My parents do not like it and abuse me over it telling me to cut them every other day, from slurs to calling me all sorts of names and how I am a disgrace to even my father saying he's embarrassed of me and hates seeing my face and log kya sochenge. When I tell them people like it and I've also gotten confident because of it I get to hear I care more about others approval than theirs. Recently, it was getting so bad I did shorten it from the back and ears like trimming but they still weren't satisfied. Why should I change my own appearance and its something so trivial.

One time they told me how if anyone says I look good looking they say it out of pity and they probably detest you. That totally crushed me inside.

They also have problems regarding how I dress and how often I go out, which by the way is from my own earned money, not talking about pocket money. I do not like asking them for money because of strained relations and because of my own financial issues I sometimes I have to compromise like I buy thrifted clothes instead and honestly I dont minf but uss mein bhi I get to hear a lot of weird stuff and I get to hear very bad insults. One day I returned home wearing a jacket and a tanktop (wasn't see through) and my dad beat the shit out of me. I also don't like being at home so I use university as an escape and I just stay late there w my friends sometimes even when I don't have classes and when I start doing too much they pester a lot ke ghar kab aoge and itni dafa kyu ja rahe ho. My daadi especially says a lot how I'm close to my friends and she says too ke sab tumhare jese honge in a derogatory way and that they'll leave you.

Thirdly, there's a religious element present. My family even though Muslim, belong to this subsect that's well really weird to me and is a whole other can of worms, and they're pretty religious especially my mother and her side. I don't think I was ever properly introduced to Islam, everything felt very indoctrinated and because I think the whole sectarianism thing is a fucking circus. I've made it clear that I don't want to follow the lifestyle, culture, and beliefs of this particular subset, I'll just follow Islam and not this. My mother gets very emotionally outrageous and hits me and starts crying. One time I went for jummah at a normal sunni mosque and my mother lost her shit. My father just says you have to follow us till ure here baad mein ja ke do whatever. If you suggest to me that fake it till u make it I've been doing that for so long and the sects imposed lifestyle upon me contradicts with what I want to have i.e its frowned upon to not have short hair which explains my first point better perhaps.

Lastly, which I think is the most taxing thing and probably a culmination of everything mentioned. Its the fucking emotional blackmail. I'm made out to be the wrong person here and that Allah will curse me and im ungrateful and they've targeted my looks, style, personality, insecurities, every single thing to make someone broken. When I tell them I'll leave they keep screaming ke Allah tumhe zor se zameen pe phekega wapis. My mother ends up crying everyone starts yelling, its all chaos. Mein ne aap se maanga nhi tha ke mujhe iss duniya mein le ke aaye and the least you could do is provide which yes you may have done that financially but you failed emotionally and being parents I don't think you have the right to control these things especially something so trivial. Why the hell would I have a reason to stay. The way they talk about me as if mein koi harasser ya druggie hu.

Our beliefs don't match, the way we see the world it doesn't match. Its a ticking time bomb and my only option is to move out but the whole process feels daunting, I'm not financially stable in the slightest and the whole job market scares me too.

I tried to convey what I felt and I apologize if it sounds too much of a rant or a rumble but what I'm asking for is I need genuine advice over this. If any parents are reading this, am I actually in the wrong here ? What should be my next step. I'm good with tutoring subjects I can teach O-level maths and I'm also good with content writing and graphic design, I've even had professional experience with the former and have a portfolio both writing and design. I sincerely ask anyone if they can to help me out here with a job or just give me advice and some clarity. I have been in mental and emotional turmoil for so long, mujhe yaad nhi when i felt sukoon for the last time.

21M found in curly hair and im freaking out

I cannot withstand the emotional abuse in the house any longer and I may not have another option