Has anyone experienced questioning their sexuality because of this? Since I associate sex with pain, I obviously never want it. This makes me question if I’m asexual? But then I’m like well I never had that thought before finding out I had vaginismus? Everything about the condition is a mind eff.
So I have this group of friends but I’m always questioning where I stand with them. There seems to be a “core four” and then there’s me and another girl who I guess get lucky to be invited occasionally. When I go I feel very included and like I’m part of them. But I notice the core four get together very often (game nights, dinners, coffee dates, etc) and me and this other girl are the only ones that get excluded.
I try to be a really good friend in many ways. However, One of my downfalls is that I don’t initiate hangouts very often. Part of that is because they all have cute new houses and I’m still living in a crappy rental that smells like shiz and isn’t decorated cute and I have dogs that people would find annoying. I’m just self conscious to have people over.
I’ve been great friends with these girls since elementary school so the thought of cutting them off makes me sick. I genuinely love each of them. But I hate how I feel when I start questioning why I’m not good enough to be invited. Like am I not fun enough, cute enough, skinny enough? Am I awkward? Like what is wrong with me?
Im 27 and have no idea how I would make new friends. I work at a small company with only like 2 other employees so I can’t really make friends there.