u/sneezeeeez

Hi, first time posting here.

My best friend of several years has a lot of traits and and similar behaviors to those with BPD and when we were teenagers he was "pre-diagnosed" but couldnt fully be diagnosed as he was a minor, and then kind of stopped going to therapy.

A few weeks ago he confessed his feelings for me, I am in a committed relationship and he is also friends with my boyfriend. He has told me he had feelings for me once before very shortly after we met, i told him it wasn't reciprocated and after a bit we moved on and have been friends for years now.

He went through a sudden break up last year, and since then his attachment to me has definitely intensified and we have had a lot of arguments and long talks because he would get jealous and hurt that i was seeing my other friends, or about the fact that we didnt do enough together, etc. Without making this a novel, its just been slowly building until now he has told me.

Obviously me and my boyfriend are uncomfortable with this revelation, and i asked for space and got the classic onslaught of messages. I'm just feeling very hurt, I've seen this behavior from him a few times throughout the years but never fully directed at me so its now hitting me just how unhealthy that behavior is that i'm on the receiving end of it.

Just having a difficult time not feeling guilty for separating myself while he is non stop talking about how hurt he is.