u/snohwfire

So my [35M] wife [27F] is a looker... as in she's gorgeous. Dang near brilliant, I wear sunglasses indoors just to handle the radiance. However... I tell her in different ways all the time how pretty she is and as creatively as possible and it really doesn't mean anything to her.

People tell her how pretty she is all the time but when I say it? She treats it like my 10 yr old self did when my grandma called me handsome in my school photos. The "Uh huh, thanks. You're supposed to say that."

However if I don't comment on something positively? Well she gets mad. Like I'm set up to fail lol.

Basically all the compliments in the world, as creative and heartfelt and genuine as I can make them... don't mean anything to her. At least that's how it looks. It's kinda... depressing really.

I truly think the world of her, but my praise means nothing compared to a random comment from someone she doesn't know. I'm kinda at a loss, maybe I just suck at this I guess. I've kinda started to give up recently.

Idk if I'm missing something, or if this is a warning sign... so I'm looking for second opinions.

Howdy yall!

So I'm predominantly a solo player only dabbling in group content on a rare blue moon. So with that said I'm also a filthy casual, dad gamer, but also like squeaky new. I still got that new car smell at 238cp (mainly cuz of my alt a.d.d.). I don't have much time to play over the next several months, working 2 jobs and all, so I kinda made it my goal to just be a quester for now. I do like the immersion and turning my brain off a bit. It's a bit like watching a TV show I like with WASD keys.

With all that said, I've finished all Alliance main zones quest lines between 3 characters barring all the side quests and achievements which will be in the pipeline at some point. So I'm looking for quest line or zone suggestions. I haven't finished the guild and main coldharbour quest lines yet, that's my current project.

After that though... idk. I wouldn't mind doing things in chronological order but it's not a huge thing to me. Having access to all zones and quests at any time is a blessing and a curse. There's been more days I spent my time trying to figure out what I'm going to do that night then I have actually doing anything.

So to summarize... what zones did you all like or did most of you try to keep things chronological? Maybe some of you are in the same boat as me... if so how do you guys play the game? I'm just curious how you all have enjoyed the game, how you played it, and how you quested. Maybe it'll give me some ideas!

Anywho, I hope you all are doing great! For the record my main is a nightblade, despite the fact I play it like a zug zug face-to-keyboard abandon all stealth and zerg gamer. You know... the ones of us thinking we're being sneaky at 2 am shoving shredded cheese in our face guided by the fridge light. I personify that.

My wife and I have been married for 4 years (with one child who is 2) and my wife had struggled with mental health... significantly. I'll avoid the mental health labels and self-diagnosis but she struggles immensely with her own self worth, anger, depression, and just overall she struggles to even control her emotions to any degree.

One major issue is her mother, who is a piece of work. Her mother would physically hit her closed fist when she was a teenager, manipulate, and use my wife as a replacement parent for her three younger brothers. Her father was around but didn't do anything and let her mom run the show however... in fact I'm pretty sure he was terrified of her. Now that my wife has her own family and after she moved out (she lived with her family up until she was married), her dad up and left, and now her mom goes out an parties and disappears leaving her brother's at home alone for every weekend and sometimes several days at a pop (they are 10, 13, and 17).

So to say the least, my wife has a lot of trauma and spends more time in denial of it than excepting it. She flies off the handle in anger over nothing, gaslights like its an addiction, manipulates, stonewalls me for entire days... shes basically a copy paste of her mother in many categories. She also doesn't even remotely recognize it, or at least if she does she doesn't visually acknowledge it. She will never apologize, just pretend whatever she did never happened. For the record she isn't physically abusive in the slightest, she might be an angry package but not a single cell in her is physically violent in any capacity.

She also comes from a family where... well... they believe mental health isnt a real thing. She also comes from a culture where women serve the men, hand and foot. Any time we're with her family she tries to serve me and despite my adamant protests (and very verbal for everyone to hear) she still does it.​

I'm a very passive guy so all of this doesn't really take a huge toll on me, and I see her attempts at gaslighting and manipulating a miles away and never give that BS and fuel. Also... I'm far from flawless myself but I do everything in my power to be better, master my own emotions, and be an unwavering support for her but I'm normally the target of all the emotional abuse because I CAN take it (usually).

Sooo... bringing this to an actually question... is there anything I can even do? She refuses medication despite every professional (therapist, OBGYN, and all other doctors she's come in contact with suggesting it)... she refuses to see a psychiatrist. She complains, in tears often, everything her mother did and STILL does to her and then turns around and does the same thing to me her mother does to her. For the record also, our son is exempt from all of this. She's an amazing mother. However I'm at a loss, because saying anything and drawing parallels between her and her mother... well let's just say accusing her of being a serial killer would go over better.

She isn't her mother, she's her own self and an amazing woman and kind person... but the cycle is continuing and she doesn't even seem to know she's caught in it to begin with. How do I help... or can I even? She self-destructs all of her friendships just like her mother also. The only constant person she has in her life is me, and of course our son.

Sorry if this all came across as I ramble. I really tried to make it understandable and cohesive haha. I love this woman, and when I promised her in sickness and in health and I meant it. However she's sick mentally, and I feel helpless. I can't always live as her pillow to scream into.