u/snootsnooty

My wife lied to me about her body count for almost five years. The truth came out during a really nasty fight about a month ago. The number is a lot bigger than she had previously told me and during our conversation after the fight she told me that she had lied about a lot of the reassurances she had given me about her sexual past.

I feel very betrayed. I understand it was all before me and she’s been nothing but loyal since we got together. But it feels like I can’t believe anything she’s ever told me. I feel like if she had told me her actual number when it had first come up in the first month of us dating, I would’ve left. But she took that choice away from me and I feel like I’ve been played a fool. I can’t leave now, we have a daughter together.

Every time I look at her, I get intrusive thoughts that call her nasty names and I don’t want to have those thoughts invading my head about the woman I love.

Has anyone been in a similar situation and has any advice for how to manage all these emotions? I’m seeing my therapist this week, so please no “dude you need therapy” comments.

I recently found out my wife has a body count of 15 and I’ve been struggling with it pretty badly. We were 22 when we met. Is there anyone out there whose partner has the same or higher body count? I just want to “normalize” it, I guess. Feel free to message me, thanks to anyone who reaches out.

Long story short, we had a nasty fight. The type of fight we might divorce over. Anyways, during the fight she wanted to hurt me and told me that her real body count was 15. Before today, she had always told me it was 5. We met when we were both 22. It hasn’t hit me yet but I know it will. Anyone have any advice for how to manage the whirlwind of emotions I’m about to experience? Thanks.

Does anyone else struggle with motivation? Even the simplest tasks, I tell myself I can just do it later. Or fun stuff, like playing video games, I just can’t find the motivation to do. I also have a hard time being present in the moment. I feel like I can’t just sit still and enjoy the time I have, I’m always thinking about the next thing I have to do. Does anyone have good ways to get past this?