u/solidwhetstone

Hey friends,

Sorry it's been a bit! Been working on a longer term living solution and I came to an agreement with /u/alternative_rule2300 + partner that I can use their camper for the foreseeable months by sharing a slice of what I make (rather than a fixed amount that could get me evicted again). They have been incredibly generous and they took it a step further by cleaning out their camper, fixing a few things and helping me get moved in from the leaky camper I was in previously.

I now have: a bathroom + toilet/sink/shower, a kitchen area with fridge + microwave + sink + stove + coffeemaker, a stereo with speakers throughout the camper I can Bluetooth to from my phone, a queen bed + new mattress they had on hand, bed area for goobie, nice view of the outdoors, and all of this in a camper that won't leak when it rains 😳

To say that I'm grateful would be underselling it.

As for money, I'm sitting on around $1,600. So while I never did get enough to get a vehicle, you all kept me alive because I was able to buy food and supplies while trying to figure out how to land someplace. Since I have a bed and my own space now, a car becomes less urgent, thankfully.

I have been also trying to catch up on sleep but I'll admit I'm tired again from all the moving. I don't yet have my PC setup in the new camper so that will likely be tomorrow's project. I'm going to keep trying to get out of sleep debt, especially once I'm fully settled.

I had a moment today where I thought 'woah ok I just had a string of thoughts that didn't relate to survival' so I figure I may have moved up a rung on Mazlow's hierarchy. Might've been from the simplicity of being able to pull ingredients from the fridge and make a sandwich.

In any case, I'll try to get another devlog update out again in the next few days. Sales have slowed on Scale Space so I know I need to get back on dev and keep working on getting it off the ground, flying on its own.

My new outdoorsy environment is, I think, going to be very good for my creative output when I'm not having to think about everything else.

Hope you're all well as we hurtle headlong into the singularity 🤞

Best,

setz

Mmm taco bell.

Mental organization and scoping. No visible assets to show today. But doggie tax gets paid of course. It's been a rainy weekend but finally seems to be settling down. Catch you all tomorrow 👊

setz

What would we look like to an interdimensional being? The visualization stacks successive video frames into a volume, turning time into visible depth. Instead of seeing someone at one moment, they can look across a structure containing multiple moments.

Suppose an interdimensional being perceives time this way. They wouldn't merely access an extra spatial direction, but actually observe multiple moments together.

To them, we might not look like a separate body moving from place to place. We might look like one continuous structure extending through time. Sitting down, standing up and walking across a room would be different sections of that structure, rather than separate events the being has to wait to witness.

If we extend that idea beyond a few seconds. Our childhood and adulthood might be recognizable parts of the same larger form. Instead of watching our lives unfold, they would be looking across them.

Apparent foreknowledge, changing forms, sudden disappearances and missing time. Those are among the types of accounts Jacques Vallee and Eric Davis discuss in their work on high strangeness.

What we call prediction might, from its perspective, be observation.

Suppose this intelligence could examine our life across time rather than meeting us only in the present. It wouldn’t necessarily need to predict where we were going. Our departure, our journey and our arrival could all be available for it to observe.

In David Fravor’s account of the Tic Tac encounter. After losing sight of the object, he said a controller reported it at the aircraft’s planned combat air patrol point, roughly 60 miles away. So what would apparent anticipation look like if the being could already see the later event?

edit: Credit @ bradleytangonan

A rainy day today so I took the day to relax and organize things. Nice to just slow down and work on clearing my mind. Spent some time thinking and brainstorming for the next phase of Scale Space.

Overall not much to report and I suppose that's a good thing for once!

setz

First the really good news. /u/alternative_rule2300 is the real mvp. They arranged to let me use their camper. Their partner drives out tonight with a truck, we're pulling my stuff out of storage and it's off to camper land. I'm upgrading from vagrant to hermit and I couldn't be happier.

Last night I went to 3 different spots to try to sleep on the grass and I just couldn't get comfortable. So I looked up the closest 24 hour dunkin (it was midnight) and me and goobie set off on a 2 mile walk. I sat in dunkin for a good chunk of the night working on something for Scale Space and just generally being a zombie. At daybreak we walked back.

And then at some point today I got messaged from /u/alternative_rule2300 and yeah, I'm busting out of this joint. I may actually get some good sleep tonight 😳 I'll even have a spot to setup my desktop too so this is quite a turn of events.

Tomorrow is the 3 weeks from when I got evicted and it looks like my time on the streets is finally drawing to a close. I won't miss it. I'm currently eating my last meal in this area (a delicious chicken place).

What about the vehicle? Well I still need one, but now the time pressure is off which is a huge relief. I can save up more and make sure I get something that isn't a lemon-flavored death trap.

Anyways this all hasn't gone down yet-it's supposed to in around 4 hours. I'm around 98% certain this is what comes next. Gotta leave that wiggle room for things I can't predict. Guess we'll find out in tomorrow's update!

I appreciate you all for the support these past 3 weeks. It was a grind like few I've done but you all kept pumping me with positive energy so I never dipped too far into despair. So thanks for that 😊

setz

But seriously glad to have you all on board 👊 working on some cool new stuff that I'll be revealing soon so stay tuned!

Happy Sunday. Literal Sunday, the sun is out and it's hot. But luckily I have been able to hang out in a hotel seating area with no one hassling me due to goobie.

It was great to get 2 nights of safety and rest. In any case, if anyone has spare hotel points with holiday inn or has a couch in the Chicago area, or has any other options, I'm still uhh... Homeless.

As usual, it's super super tempting to just throw down for a room but as usual I keep seeing that vehicle ahead of me as the goal. Decisions decisions. On the upshot, my stomach is full from the hotel's continental breakfast and goobie has plenty of dogfood. So it's really just a safe bed that's needed.

I hate that fatigue is already setting in at midday but I'm already feeling around 30% of my energy.

I suppose today I'll be looking at vehicles online and figuring out where to withdraw cash as I may have to do that over a few days depending on if I have a limit (chime). Everything feels like a huge ordeal.

Whelp that's what I've got for an update.

setz

Ps: ok almost forgot. You all keep reminding me to share these:

$setzstone (cashapp)

https://buymeacoffee.com/setzstone

https://setzstone.itch.io/scale-space

https://setzstone.itch.io/cymatist

2 hours of sleep. Couldn't find a place to sleep outside. At 4am went into my storage unit and got 2 hours of sleep (the max length I'm allowed to be in there). Just now got a call that they are considering canceling my storage agreement because they think I'm living there. To be fair, I do have an air mattress setup in there and apparently I didn't know how to properly lock my unit so the manager opened it and saw. But I told her I had only been in the unit a few times over the past few days and only max 2 hours. I told her to check the tapes and she said she would so we'll see what happens here. I may have to move my stuff again perhaps to another storage place. I'm so tired, physically, existentially.

Ive got $1,078 in the bank and more transferring in soon from itch sales and buymeacoffee but it feels like things are about to get really hairy. I was VERY tempted to rent a room last night because I was just so tired, but I knew I needed the money for a vehicle and resisted. So my decisions feel more and more constrained as the days go by. Still trying to get a job, still trying to find a couch to crash on but no luck yet on any front. I'm really trying not to despair.

I guess I will again ask for help to get me across the vehicle threshold ASAP. It seems that I need to get it as fast as I can so I stop bleeding money on storage and trying to survive on the street. You've all been so generous so it's tough to ask for more help, but this is the situation I'm in.

It looks like I can get a cargo van for around $2k and that would do the trick for the near future. I feel physically sick and sick that I have to keep asking for help.

https://setzstone.itch.io/cymatist

https://buymeacoffee.com/setzstone

$setzstone

In any case thanks for reading =/

setz

https://youtu.be/pGhwBFYtn1s?is=4L7CmkMxHD5alrlz

My sweet sweet hotel rest has drawn to a close and me and the pup are back out on the road.

I do have money to pay for another night but I'm so torn because once all of the money you've all sent me and itch sales clear my account I may have enough to buy a vehicle 😬 so do I choose temporary comfort now or longer lasting comfort in a week or so? Tough call. At least I'm rested, whatever comes. I may sleep on the grass tonight.

Goobie got groomed today so he's looking nice and pretty now. He seems to be in a good mood as a result. I just couldn't let him get filthy and mangy like I am 😂 I did get showers in the hotel at least. I've got a whole big bag of dirty laundry and I need to find somewhere to do it. I've been in the same clothes for days.

On the upshot, it's not blistering hot today so sleeping outside doesn't seem like as bad of an option. My tent is still back by my old storage unit so I don't have a way to setup for the night right now. Another dilemma. Buy a new tent? So many tradeoffs. There are some woods nearby that could work. They're not on the way to anything and don't look dangerous. 🤔🤔🤔

On the job front, nothing yet unfortunately. Why's it gotta be so hard to just get a place to sleep? 😕

Well see ya all tomorrow.

setz

Edit: well that was short lived. He just rolled around in some dirt.

Whelp, has an interview this morning but I don't think I got it. There was a ux assessment at the end and apparently I was supposed to fully evaluate an interface without looking at it? Only words to describe it? And in a short period of time? With paragraph entry for answers? Who makes this shit? I wrote them a ticket giving them an earful of how this is biased against people who have adhd. Call me crazy, but when I evaluate an interface, I kind of... Want to SEE it? Wild RIGHT? What a joke. Dropped $30 in ubers to go to the library to deal with that bullshit.

Applied for a bunch of new jobs but yeah no hooks yet. Kinda demoralizing tbh.

Goobie is getting his rabies shot so I can get him groomed because he's starting to look filthy. That'll be a few hundred bucks when all is said and done.

One more night at the hotel then I have to figure out where I'm sleeping tomorrow 🫩 sitting on like $1300 so I'm getting closer to being able to afford a vehicle but I keep bleeding on expenses so it's been slower than I'd like. Trying to hold on tight to get through this.

It has been nice sleeping in a bed and showering. A nice reprieve. I think I'm gonna figure it out tomorrow. Too painful to think about it today.

Thanks again to everyone who has sent money or picked up the game. I would be much more screwed without you 🔥

If anyone reading this feels compelled to help out, I'm not out of the woods yet unfortunately.

https://setzstone.itch.io/cymatist

https://buymeacoffee.com/setzstone

$setzstone

Looking forward to the day when I'm back at a desk able to work on Scale Space again.

setz

Greetings fellow meatbags. Still trying to process the past 24 hours. Earlier in the day I went to target and found an el cheapo air mattress. Didn't notice the small 'don't forget a pump!' text on it till I got back to the storage unit so I spent the next half hour slowly breathing into it. Finally got it setup and took a short nap. It was restless but any sleep is good sleep at this point.

From there I walked to a hotel lobby and hung out, charging my devices. At some point in the evening, I got a message from /u/obsidian743 offering to put me up in a hotel. To my surprise they called the hotel I was hanging out at and paid for a room till Wed. So thank you Obsidian!

As I checked in, the clerk behind the desk asked me if goobie was a service dog. I was like he's my support dog. And she goes ok, but only service dogs are allowed, so is he a service dog? And it was like a moment out of a movie. I went yyyyes. And she just silently processed it so I'm 99% sure she was being a bro and let me have the room because we had been talking a bit before then and I told her a bit about what was going on with me. So the stars really aligned there and I got the room. Speech: 100.

It was such a relief to get a shower and sleep in a bed. Goobie was enjoying it as you can see in the photos.

I also realized last night a bunch of you sent money over buymeacoffee and I hadn't checked the email tied to that in a few days so I missed the notifications. I went through and thanked each one and then I got to one that made me blink. One anonymous redditor sent $1k 😳 so whoever you are, wow-above and beyond. Very grateful. 

The next phase becomes tricky and I'll have to calculate it just right. 

To start, I went back to the storage unit this morning and while kicking back on the air mattress got paid a visit by a storage facility staffer. It was a genuine moment of panic when she pulled the door up because I was under a sheet at that very moment. Thankfully goobie immediately stepped out and distracted her so I could get up and make like I wasn't just trying to catch a few z's. Technically you're not supposed to have animals at the facility but she didn't mention that. She said I had to keep the door partly open when I'm in the unit so I may have run out of luck when it comes to crashing there at night.

Tomorrow morning I head to the library to take my interview at a pc with a camera since mine isn't setup.

Parallel to that, I decided I needed to upgrade goobie to a harness so he'd look more like a service dog and I won't get hassled as much. Let's not think too hard about how many rules or laws I've broken during this bout of homelessness 😇 

In any case I realized goobie also needs a bath. He's looking a bit grungy. So I took him to petsmart this morning and they said they won't touch him till he's had his rabies shot. So that's now scheduled for tomorrow morning at 7am. This works out perfectly because I was wondering how I'd manage the interview with goobie there and now he'll be preoccupied getting his shot.

From there, the groomers want one day after the shot so he gets cleaned up on Wed.

I'm going to try not to think about what I'll be doing on Wed. Day at a time. But at least I'm a lot closer to being able to get a vehicle. The trick will be spending enough that the vehicle doesn't break down 3 miles after driving away and having enough money left over for gas and such.

One of you suggested I share my buymeacoffee again so I'll share all the things:

https://setzstone.itch.io/cymatist (picking up Cymatist and sharing your experience here in the sub is a great way to support me) 

Cashapp: $setzstone

https://buymeacoffee.com/setzstone

Thanks for all the well wishes everyone! We're not out of the woods just yet but I feel like I can see a clearing 🔥 

setz

Well if you've been following along you probably saw that I was in a real state yesterday. I was feeling quite sick from a combination of lack of sleep and heat. I had been waiting for the storage manager to get back to me about moving to climate controlled storage and she finally did. It cost a bit more per month (+$75) but I could get a cooled underground unit.

I was packed up to go in like 15 minutes. I had to get out of there. I called an Uber van, loaded my shit and got out of Dodge. I abandoned my tent/wet blankets/pillows in the woods because it just didn't seem worth the time and energy. I was in pure survival mode at this point.

A 15-20 min drive later and we arrived at a storage facility in a concrete corporate wasteland. I got my things loaded up onto a rollcart, down the elevator, and into my new storage unit. The temperature change was an immediate relief. I felt my brain starting to recover almost immediately.

Then some good news. One of the numerous applications I put out resulted in an interview. An interview with an AI but the rate goes from $30-80/hr so I'll take it. I was making $80/hr ten years ago so I asked for $80.

They want me to be at a desktop with a webcam and they'll be having me share my screen to demo my figma experience (I haven't done figma in a few years but I have a lot of experience with it from my core UX days). So then began the hunt to figure out how I'd be taking this job interview given my computer is sitting in a storage unit with no power outlets.

I interrogated Gemini and explored my options, eventually landing on the library. It will be closed tomorrow for the holiday, so Tuesday morning I'll be interviewing. Fingers crossed 🤞

As an aside, it struck me as funny that my interview largely amounts to an inverted Voight Kampff test to determine my humanity. Perhaps I'll give the answer Bruce Willis gave in the 5th Element.

In any case, I spent last night wandering around with Goobie, getting my bearings in the area and figuring out which food places I had access to. This facility is a longer walk distance from food but getting more exercise isn't a bad thing.

I decided to stay out late so I wasn't sleeping in the facility all night so as not to raise suspicions. Got back around 2am and slept till 8am. It was... Rough. With no blankets or pillows I was consigned to stuffing clothing into pillowcases to construct makeshift pillows and lay down layers of clothing as my bed. My arms and legs are covered in bruises from the frantic nature of the move so following that with a night on concrete was not my favorite. This morning's plan will be to find a sleeping bag somewhere and try to get some more sleep.

Overall, I'm bruised, exhausted, still feeling residual sickness, but at least I'm no longer being forced to choose between being hot inside or hot outside so that's a win. And with the interview, while it's not in the bag just yet, I have the possibility of getting out of this brutal phase of my life.

If I get that job at max rate for 40 hours, I'm gonna buy an RV so I'm never homeless again.

setz

I couldn't convince myself to go back to the tent so I hung out in dunkin till 3am then tried to sleep for 2 hours in the storage unit but it was too hot. So I got up and sat on a bench outside till 6am and now I'm in Panera feeling like a zombie. Good times.

Genuinely considering renting a room for the day/night and just sleeping till I'm all caught up. It'd suck to spend some of the money I'm saving for a vehicle but might be worth it to keep my body and mind from breaking down.

setz

Well it got to the point where I became too exhausted to avoid the woods. Despite the heat, the tent is the only place I can get a solid night of sleep without interruption. I bought a small USB rechargeable fan so that made it slightly more bearable.

I've managed to get a bit quicker at getting to the tent and slipping inside which had been an exhausting ordeal up to this point due to all of the branches and sticks surrounding it (which is a positive because I can hear lots of snapping if anyone gets near).

I'm torn on where I'll sleep tonight because, while I do sleep better in the tent, it's such an ordeal and I wake up a sweaty, filthy mess. I look forward to being able to afford a vehicle because I'll be able to drive off into out of the way spots to setup camp.

Today was an amazing day of game sales at least. One generous person threw down $333 for Scale Space so if you are reading this kind stranger, thank you sincerely. While I can't afford a vehicle yet, you just got me a lot closer.

I feel a bit less depressed today about the future. Might be the solid 6 hour stretch of uninterrupted sleep talking. Still tired but at least I'm no longer fall-out-of-my-chair tired.

Most of my time is now spent at panera bread. Free drinks, lots of space, wifi, outlets, air conditioning. Couldn't ask for more. Still trying to find a job. Currently have 10 applications out but the numbers I saw an Ai job placement site say you need to make around 200 applications to get a job. So yeah. Fun. I'm trying to use tools to speed this up.

Grateful to my friend Rhey for demoing Cymatist v1.2. Nobody wants to be the first Guinea pig so it feels like a milestone reached. Now anyone can see what the game is all about-because it's easier to experience than describe. Hopeful more folks will take the plunge now and give it a try.

If sales continue momentum, I could theoretically be out of trouble in a few weeks or a month. Depends on how well we do. But the appeal of working on Scale Space full time and making a living is strong. I absolutely love working on it and seeing other people try it is a delight. Fingers crossed that it gets to that point. I need to sell around 25-40 copies per month to be fully supported so it's not out of the realm of feasibility! Doesn't have to be a big hit to make it.

The poll results kind of surprised me. 19 people said they wanted to hear how I'm doing with only one person saying they just wanted the pretty visuals. So to that one person, my apologies 😅

Not out of the woods yet (yuk yuk) but enough positive progress to improve my mood today. Thanks everyone for the support 🙏

See you in tomorrow's update.

setz

Well you all voted for it so here's today's update:

I'm dying for a night of sleep. I only got fragments last night and tried to make up for it in the storage unit but it started getting hot so I had to take refuge in panera. Now I'm sitting here feeling like a zombie, sick to my stomach and wishing I could just lay down somewhere for 8 hours. It's 92 (feels like 101) outside so I'm kinda stuck here. But yeah that's what I've got today. Nausea and exhaustion. 👍

setz