u/solorisk0

hello everyone, due to financial condition mera btech me nahi ho pa ra hai, and also bca me bhi ek local area ke college me se krni pdegi, I mean ek ip college hai bulandshahr me, usse, dekho bhai mera normal sa interest hai computer wgera me?

should I get admission or not? because tomorrow admission of ccsu are reopened. please help me.

koi college ko chutiya bta ra hai toh koi degree ko, koi kh ra hai ji ki jee ki taiyari Krle 4-5 mahine jisse mai phle hi burnout hoke aagya hu. merese nahi hoga jee wee, sahi guidance needed.

Today I had a dream, it came once before too, the dream was that I am in my actual life's dream, that is to be American, from starting of my childhood I never loved where I was born, my favourite place or country that was a idealistic symbol to me was America, I don't know why it is, I don't know if it is common , being in America doesn't mean being in a country with tall buildings and beauty it's more than that, actually the kind of individualism, and the kind of mindset people do have , atleast as much as I know through movies, social media, web series, so there's a belief that I will fit perfectly there. My idealism for America born by Justin Bieber my elder brother, when I was 10 always used to play JB songs on our home theatre and always filled up my mind with Justin Bieber, by which I also got to know about the country day by day.

Now, coming to the dream it was simple that I was with a kind girl, she was beautiful, I dont know how I was looking in that, she started to be my friend first then we started dating , and then we eventually kissed, I don't remember now that much about my dream, but yeah she left for her country and whenever I tried to message her, she never replied and all last hours of my dream was ended up by waiting for her messages, I mean you couldn't even imagine that how I would have felt when I first opened my eyes and saw, that was all a dream, and you're still in the same country and in the same place.

Life is so weird, I mean people who strongly love to go to other countries, like me, doesn't have destiny to prove it. And people who don't even respect the life in that country are chilling, I mean still people will here suggest me to work hard and go to America, but yk all of my life that I have imagined , was  from childhood to teens and early adulthood. Going there by working hard in late adulthood will feel like a hollow completeness, although just going there as a lazy person and also some how depressed, purposeless person, I don't think so it would be possible.

If you ended up reading the whole, I can explain myself with one emoji right now. 😔