u/sonrisasunrise

Words cannot capture the totality of my experience, but I will try.

I read a comment on what the definition of demisexuality is, and it matches word for word some of the thoughts I have elucidated over the past few days, which build on this whole sexual revolution I've personally had for about a month. I figured out I was some sort of queer bi guy then, and now I understand my current dearth of sexual feelings to be a reflection of the truth in me that I am a demisexual person.

Throughout my whole life, I have been a very sex-driven person on account of operating from a "maximum desperation" mindset. My porn habits reflected this, and that level of desperation led to "the great gf quest" of my young adulthood. I recently had an encounter with a couple because "any hole in a drought," but it ended up being such a negative sexual experience for me that I considered never ever being sexual with anyone else if it only leads to shame and disappointment like that. That prompted me to examine myself as to why I put myself in that situation (and many other undesirable ones over the years), and i discovered how certain ideas from childhood are reflected in how i relate to myself and the world, how i produced this view of the world that governed my understanding of my sexual self. The second I dropped the maximum desperation mindset and moved past it (after a whole LOT of work on my part), I completely lost my sexual desire and my ability to even arouse myself. It was really horrifying, as my sexual vitality is something very important to me. I thought my power had left me. I even had the thought that it would be better to be blinded by desperation because then at least I'd still have my hard-ons.

BUT THEN: Over the next few days and weeks, I would have these dreams of intimacy and passion that showed me that my body was still working and fully responsive, even if porn no longer did anything for me. Getting rid of that old mindset literally shifted gears and turned me right around, I think towards the truth. Today, as I was walking home from work, I cast my gaze hither and thither and saw some people with very well-built bodies, but literally felt absolutely nothing. A great many boons follow this phenomenon (no longer comparing myself to other guys, no longer wondering what they have that i don't, no longer contemptuous towards pretty much everyone, etc.), but that's a convo for another subreddit. At that point I googled what demisexuality is because I had heard of it before, and found a definition that spoke to me.

I am proud to say that I am a man whose body moves only after his heart is moved, and there's nothing wrong with that. :D

This is a long shot, but screw it, who cares?

Working out and running has me insatiably horny and obscenely needy. I'm extremely lonely and don't get out at all, really. I want a woman who wants to trade nudes and mutually masturbate on video call. I'm very well hung, very freaky, and have a lot of sexual stamina. I like my girls pretty busty, so if that's you, im game. I have snap, kik, or i can use whatever your preferred app is. I would also want something consistent because sometimes im not satisfied by one bust and need two or three in a row. Hmu and let's chat.

I'm 28, tall, and long/thick enough to need a woman with a huge @ss. I'm the kind of guy that can go for hours. I like my ladies freaky, chunky, and older (35+). Open to something ongoing if the vibe is right. I've never met anyone who could match my energy and drive, so that would be phenomenal. I'd generally prefer you to be single. Not really looking to be anyone's bull. Been there, done that, not my cup of tea. I want someone that's mine. Many bonus points if you got milk. Looking to play as soon as possible because I'm very, very horny. :)