u/sopy_ann

I am not sure this is the right thread at all. If not, I do apologise.

I have a 13 year old boy and 11 year old girl from my first marriage. Their dad pops in and out of their life about 3 times a year for a short 24-hour visit, and they have a weekly phone call in our court orders.

Its a complicated relationship for them, and at different times, they both feel differently about him.

He told them some weeks ago he was getting tested for BRCA 1 and 2 as his mother had both. She passed last year. He has no medical deciding rights to the children, but this does fall under his own medical thing but has an obvious knock on to the kids. He didn't really explain it to them, so they weren't that concerned.

We about 3 weeks ago, he called and told them he has BRCA 1 and what it means. He was upset on the phone. He found the need to inform them they had a 1 in 2 chance now. He rattled off all the statistics for each gender and the risks of passing it on to their kids. This all happened in the span of minutes.

So, my daughter has been in a full panic for weeks. She's weighing up having kids or not. I mean, she's 11. This is adult stuff.

I was not consulted on his decision to tell the kids any of it. I have sole parental responsibility for both kids. From what I read, most people talk to their children about it after 18. The recent death of their grandmother has also made it more real for them, I think.

My 13 year old boy seems more relaxed about it, but he also said his risks are not like his sisters, and he is closer to 18 to find out.

I have them in counselling already, but I think I will need to seek further support for my daughter as she seems overwhelmed by anxiety.

I am so sad they are having to feel like this and won't have any certainty for so many years.

I am not sure if i am just venting or if anyone can offer any advice to help them?

Hi!

So I really love Your Nonsense makes sense by The 502s as a first dance song but it's abit too upbeat.

How would I go about getting someone to cover it in a more fitting style for a wedding?

I dont think we will have a band at our wedding.

Sorry if this is a stupid question to ask here

😊

We have a blended family.

Me f34

My son m13

My daughter f11

My partner m36

His son m7

His daughter f6

And our daughter 10months

Together for 5 years

I have my kids all the time. We have his 50/50 following his work schedule (mines).

His daughter was fully toilet trained while younger. But she struggled over one winter when it was cold and her BM put both kids in nappies again.

Bed-wetting sky-rocketed at our house with both kids as we would not put a 5 and 6 year old back in nappies. Eventually his son stopped bed-wetting but his daughter continued to get worse and started having accidents all day. Even at school.

Shes finally out of nappies at her mums, over a year later. She has developed a water obsession along the way some how. Left unsupervised for any reason and she will drink water. Any water. Dirty water. She has been stealing the baby's sippy cups and drinking all the water without telling anyone.

Shes been tested for diabetes and been to a pelvic health therapist. She doesnt have diabetes and the suggestions was to limit her water intake to 1.2L.

Shes still sneaking water, drinking from the taps with her mouth when she washes her hands.

Her dads now worried about OCD, which he plans on getting her seen about asap. But now he has backtracked on most current punishments just incase she has OCD.

To clarify, the punishments have been for lying, deceiving and disobeying rules. This is not the only aspect of her life where she is misbehaving. She is less obsessed with water when I am caring for her because she knows I follow through with my punishments. That doesn't exactly track for OCD I'm assuming.

I think she should be tested to rule it out but treating her that way without knowing seems silly to me.

Obviously it's a major strain on our relationship. He is sensitive about the topic and feels anything i say is negative. I feel i get in more trouble for voicing my concerns than his daught does for the behaviour. I feel like he is overridden by parenting guilt and making inconsistent choices because of it. I feel bitter. I don't like how cold i am becoming because of this. I feel so uncomfortable in my own home because we are having to watch her like a hawk and she disobeys several times a day which causes so much tension.

Just at my wits end, will it ever end.