u/squishsquash23

Hey guys! I recently bought a pair of Portapros secondhand for use as a cool looking IEM replacement with my 80s inspired music project. I love the look overall but want to strip the headband of my all-black model to expose the steel underneath. To preface, I prefer not to buy a 3rd party replacement or dish out another 30+ dollars for an official one. What I’m struggling with is disassembling the headband itself. There’s a single thread somewhere about separating the two springsteel pieces to fully expose the bands but I found it to be inaccurate and likely about a different model. Has anyone attempted successfully to take the spring-steel bands apart from each other? I have been trying to get them past the plastic sliders to no avail and I’m worried I’ll damage the earpiece assembly if I poke around blindly trying to find fasteners there myself. Would love some pointers. Thanks :)

My girlfriend (25f) and I (25m) have been together now for over seven months. We had a great start to our relationship both her and I were able to get really close and vulnerable with each other in a pretty short period of time. Both of us know more about each other than even our closest loved ones. We both have eerily similar interest as well as great banter, similar desires for the future and on top of that she’s the funniest girl I know. I genuinely consider this girl my best friend and I haven’t loved like this for a very long time.

Sadly her early life was filled with much trauma and abandonment, and it has left lasting scars on her psyche that began to manifest into something that looks like quiet BPD.

Over the past few months there’s been times when we would have arguments or disagreements that I thought were small or cordial. During these she would flip a switch. I would become a villain to her and she’d say extremely hurtful things that seemed completely out of character for her. This has happened with her friends to a lesser extent as well and I’m worried she’s going to lose her circle due to her defense mechanisms.

After episodes like this she would go cold and completely shut me and her other loved ones out then for a few nights would self-destruct and drink heavily until I had a sit down intervention with her in which shed tell me all of the heartbreaking thoughts she was having about herself and how she thought I viewed her.

She admitted to me that this has been an ongoing cycle in her life whenever she would begin to feel uncomfortable in her interpersonal relationships or with her self image. In the past she has also gone off the deep end into substance addiction and other self harming behavior.

We had another fight recently that almost led to us breaking up. The real issue is that I hadn’t seen her taking steps in order to improve herself/heal even though she continued to unintentionally hurt me, herself or others. Although she is self-aware of her behavior and extremely remorseful for it, it keeps repeating itself. She’ll get better for a few weeks or a month then something will trigger her and she’ll spiral internally or lash out.

After this last argument, she promised to get some help and really work on herself, importantly not just for me but for her own happiness too. We’re taking a little break so she can sort out her next steps. I love her to death and only want to see her thrive and it breaks my heart every time she spirals because I can see her suffering in real time. I worry for her because It seems she has gotten comfortable within her toxic thought cycles and she doesn’t feel like she deserves to be happy.

I want to know how I can love her better. I want to encourage her to keep seeking healing without feeling like I am nagging her or constantly bringing attention to something that she feels extremely insecure about. She’s never had an official diagnosis other than a single psychiatrist mentioning she was showing similar symptoms to BPD when she was a much younger girl. She’s not able to afford an official diagnosis now but she’s been doing lots of research and utilizing resources my therapist has sent to screen herself. Additionally both my therapist and psychiatrist have both stated she is demonstrating characteristics of a BPD individual. She has come to her own conclusion that she is likely borderline thru this. Her whole life she grew up believing she was fine and just needed to do some surface level inner work on her attitude and now feels devastated that she may be a person with BPD.

I’d love to hear some advice from both those that are someone with BPD and those who are a partner to someone with BPD on how I can better support her through this journey and new chapter of her life. This is my first rodeo when it comes to being in a relationship with such lasting trauma involved, and I feel extremely naïve to the way my girlfriend’s brain works. Additionally, I want to mention that she is somebody I can see a future with, but I also want to remain prepared and protected from any harm she might cause me in the future due to this disorder.

Part of the reason I am reaching out for help on this sub reddit it’s because I want to avoid ever reaching the point of almost breaking up again. I don’t have much more bandwidth left to take being switched on and want to learn ways in which I can reassure her in ways that she can feel even through her hurtful thought patterns so we stay clear of that scenario ever recurring.

I need help disassembling the headband for a visual mod.