M14 how do I deal with my alcoholic mother
I am currently in a family of 5 (My mum, dad, younger sister and younger brother) and my life up until recently has been great. ( my mother is great and has done so much for me and has mostly always supported me. I really do love her so this is why I’m so conflicted)
My mum has always loved alcohol, so much so that there was always a constant supply of the same cider and wine at my house for as long as I can remember. This has always negatively impacted my relationship with my mother even from a young age. I remember one time when I was around 8 and my little brother was like 6, we attended this party with my mum while my dad was doing somthing. At the end of the party my mom was drunk as shit and needed me, her 8 year old son to guide her out the party, help her throw up and walk her down the road to my dad who was picking us up. This was were the anxiety and fear of her being drunk came from. From that day I clearly remembered her slur and how easy it was for her to switch from happy to mad.
Luckily for me she only got really drunk on occasion but I can recall times where it has been way worse, and she would humiliate me when drunk or threaten me with things. About a month or two ago, every night my mum would reach that stage of not being drunk but being really tipsy. Enough that her voice would slur and she would flip easily.( idk why but her slurring brings me such anxiety) . And I’ve noticed that even when not drunk she is very angry and passive aggressive, often making backhanded comments or using things against me. I am honestly so done with it but am to scared to do anything or confront her as she often says me and my siblings are the reason she drinks so much. I am really so fucking done. I’m sick of being on edge and anxious all the time because she can’t control her drink. What do I do. ATP I’m just gonna suck it up till I’m old enough to move away.