u/stardust_moondust

I made a past post at r/nanny, but someone recommended I post here as well to get more advice.

Previous post is here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Nanny/comments/1vkp1d8/nanny_and_grandma_how_can_i_help/

TLDR: grandma has been visiting more often and nanny is very stressed.

I took the advice I received here and spoke with my nanny about ways to make it easier, including offering reduced hours while grandma is here and having grandma take the kids more to give our nanny a break.

Her response:

1. She will not go on any outing with grandma, so if grandma is going anywhere, she must do it solo.
2. Grandma must stay away while nanny is eating and taking a break, and she does not wish to be spoken to.
3. Grandma has to be silent during nap time, and she also must not come out to the common area to ruin the routine during lunch.
4. She needs a more clearly set schedule when grandma is coming, when she will be around, and what each plan is.

I spoke to my mother, who now feels uncomfortable in the house, but agreed with all conditions. I also offered my nanny late starts and leaving early so she spends less time with grandma. We've also offered afternoons off and grandma taking the kids.

I also rearranged my schedule and made sure to plan out weeks ahead. Grandma is coming and going and staying longer than usual right now because we are moving and I need the help. (Husband works nights and is often out of the house or asleep during the day.) (Also, grandma does visit every few months, but this is the longest in a long time because of the move!)

I presented the full calendar to my nanny, with the exact days I was asking for full hours vs half days and reduced hours and included days where grandma and I would be gone all day, so she would know she has the home to herself. She did ask for one more morning to be taken over by grandma instead, but seemed understanding when I said grandma had other plans that day to help with things for the move. She said it was very helpful and told me she would see me next week.

On Sunday, my nanny sent me a message saying she would be taking time off to recharge, and not coming in.

I think we all deserve to recharge, but now I have moved my entire work schedule around, given her the complete schedule, including less hours that she asked for, and I am still feeling like it's not enough.

Again, she is fantastic with my kids and extremely dependable, but now I am not sure what else I can do to help.

(Also, to be clear, her working less hours does not change her pay - she has GH that include overtime no matter what.)

This is our first nanny so maybe I just don't understand where I am going wrong, but is there something else I can do? I have spent the last 10 days stressed, missing work, trying to make everyone happy, and now just feeling... tired.

Hi everyone! Thank you for your advice on my past post. It was very helpful to hear from both nannies and parents and get some perspective!

Previous post is: https://www.reddit.com/r/Nanny/comments/1vkp1d8/nanny_and_grandma_how_can_i_help/

TLDR: grandma has been visiting more often and nanny is very stressed.

I took the advice I received here and spoke with my nanny about ways to make it easier, including offering reduced hours while grandma is here and having grandma take the kids more to give our nanny a break.

Her response:

1. She will not go on any outing with grandma, so if grandma is going anywhere, she must do it solo.
2. Grandma must stay away while nanny is eating and taking a break, and she does not wish to be spoken to.
3. Grandma has to be silent during nap time, and she also must not come out to the common area to ruin the routine during lunch.
4. She needs a more clearly set schedule when grandma is coming, when she will be around, and what each plan is.

I spoke to my mother, who now feels uncomfortable in the house, but agreed with all conditions. I also offered my nanny late starts and leaving early so she spends less time with grandma. We've also offered afternoons off and grandma taking the kids.

I also rearranged my schedule and made sure to plan out weeks ahead. Grandma is coming and going and staying longer than usual right now because we are moving and I need the help. (Husband works nights and is often out of the house or asleep during the day.) (Also, grandma does visit every few months, but this is the longest in a long time because of the move!)

I presented the full calendar to my nanny, with the exact days I was asking for full hours vs half days and reduced hours and included days where grandma and I would be gone all day, so she would know she has the home to herself. She did ask for one more morning to be taken over by grandma instead, but seemed understanding when I said grandma had other plans that day to help with things for the move. She said it was very helpful and told me she would see me next week.

On Sunday, my nanny sent me a message saying she would be taking time off to recharge, and not coming in.

I think we all deserve to recharge, but now I have moved my entire work schedule around, given her the complete schedule, including less hours that she asked for, and I am still feeling like it's not enough.

Again, she is fantastic with my kids and extremely dependable, but now I am not sure what else I can do to help.

(Also, to be clear, her working less hours does not change her pay - she has GH that include overtime no matter what.)

This is our first nanny so maybe I just don't understand where I am going wrong, but is there something else I can do? I have spent the last 10 days stressed, missing work, trying to make everyone happy, and now just feeling... tired.