AITAH for not going to my brothers wedding?
Might be more of a “who is the a hole” here but…there’s some family drama and I want some outside judgement on who is the a whole here. Or if I am for not going to the wedding.
So my brother (31M) is getting married. He and his partner were going to marry anyways, but the engagement got sped up when she got pregnant. They’ve been engaged since she found out, and they’ve been saying they were going to do a courthouse wedding. Very last minute (baby being due any day now) they asked if they could get married on my mom’s property (it’s crucial here to note my parents are divorced and it was an ugly divorce. I was 13 at the time, my brother was nearing 19).
My mom agreed. He then changed the date. My mom adapted to this. No issue.
TO NOTE: none of my siblings were invited. To my knowledge, neither was the brides siblings. It was the brides parents and my mom/stepdad, just using their property for a pretty backdrop for a small, short ceremony and nothing else. So a week out my mom asks to finalize who all will be there, when it comes out the brides siblings as well as my bio dad and stepmom will be there. My mom is livid at this, since she and my bio dad have not gotten alone in over 10 years. Every time they’re in the same room together something happens that causes a scene. Brides siblings are also invited and will be there. My mom explains she’s not comfortable with bio dad and his wife being there, saying that my brother sprang this on her and asked if he was planning on not mentioning it and asking forgiveness later.
My brother gets angry. Stops responding to my mom. Next day texts all the siblings saying he’s getting married at x location (not my mom’s property) and we’re invited….we were given 3 days notice and I had plans. My siblings all said they’d be there except me. He never told our mom about this. I’m also going to note I’ve been no contact with bio dad for 9 years due to how I was treated growing up.
AITA for not going to his wedding (because of the drama/I don’t get along with bio dad and stepmom)? Is my brother the a hole for how he handled it? Is my mom?