u/strong_dazzling_me

Hi everyone, I just need to let this out. Before that, Im F32, Virgin and no experience in sex EVER. Right now Im in debt and finding job isnt going well. I was found by a guy online and offered me, he can be my sugar daddy, easy money as long as I can do what he wants and demand. And because im in situation were I badly needed money to pay off my debt, I told him "okay, I can do it, but just letting you know im still V, no experience yet" He agreed to take it easy, in some point I thought okay maybe this okay, im not harming anyone, he is chill he never ask demand yet of showing and everything not until he did. And since I really need need money I thought I could be naughty sometimes (i search online some script coz I dont know what to say) have hot conversation, even if im not comfortable, im gaslighting myself, its okay, im not harming anyone - just to clarify I havent send him nudes or any hot images/videos, it was all sweet and naughty messages, and because of this, maybe he felt hot, he send me his nude pictures, and he ask me to send him a picture without upper cloth. This is where I started to panic, I couldnt do it. I told him I couldnt and he said "okay I might have rushed you, its fine, no need to do it FOR NOW",meaning I will be needing to send nudes, be intimate with him in the future. THIS IS ALL I STARTED THINKING, IN THE FUTURE I CANT STILL DO IT. I keep saying to myself, its fine im not hurting anyone, but I didnt realize, im hurting myself... Because this isnt me, its not what I believe, not who I am. Just because of this damn money, I did something terrible, I made decision that swayed my truth.

Just to let everyone know, I have always believe that giving up my virginity is solely for my husband to be. Thats why I havent done anything because I want to offer all me as a gift to my husband.

Right now im still thinking what to tell him and complete ends it

Traditional bank for seafarer

San ba pwde mag loan ang seafarer na on board?

I did terrible mistake