[Complete] [99,000] [YA Science-Fantasy] The Aether War

Blurb:

Aether magic is the most powerful weapon in the galaxy, and emotion is the trigger that fires it.

That’s a problem for Simon, an abused teenage gamer from Earth who feels nothing. It’s a nightmare for Fidelia, a child soldier who feels everything, living on the razor’s edge between panic and rage.

At Aetherborn Academy they train to become weapons for the inevitable war. Rejected by their classmates for their ties to the enemy, at first they have only each other.

To prove themselves, they enter a deadly school-wide tournament, but the elements they wield—light and wind—are the two weakest elements the academy has ever seen. And through it all the galactic cold war heats up, ready to explode.

There’s only one way to defend their new family—they need to stop fighting their emotions.

And start wielding them.

Content Warnings: Child soldiers. Child emotional abuse and bullying. Loss of a comfort object. Deaths of named characters. Violence.

There is NO sexual content, profanity, politics, religion.

Feedback:

Any feedback is appreciated. I just want to know what you think and feel as you read, and if you DNF just tell me where and preferably why.

Trade:

I'd love to swap the first 3 chapters with anyone. I'm available to swap a similarly sized manuscript if the first 3 chapters feel like my kind of thing.

Excerpt:

On the day the Heroes came, I prepared myself to become a villain. I ran my fingers through my hair, turning the strands from black to blonde, and committed a thread of my attention to holding the color through the end of the night. My plan badly needed my full concentration, but the few who knew me also knew that I hated my natural hair color. If they saw my hair go black they would notice, and wonder what thoughts were distracting me.

And no one could be allowed to suspect.

I pulled on my knee-high armor boots next. They were tough enough to resist most impacts, even from Aether blades. I would have loved to wear my matching armor jacket, or at least the gauntlets, but those weren’t allowed at the Hero Homecoming.

I had a lot more of me to protect than my shins—actually that wasn’t true. I stood barely five feet tall. But I would like to protect all five feet of me. And a weapon would be nice, but after five years in the military academy I had yet to earn one. So I’d have boots. Just boots.

And me. Which wasn’t half bad, since I was a weapon. Aether Wielders were the most dangerous weapons in the galaxy, as my teachers liked to say. Usually when I picked a fight I shouldn’t have, which happened a lot. My fists had a hair trigger and I could be halfway through a pummeling before I knew the fight had started.

I didn’t have many friends.

Just two, who sat on my bed watching me get ready. The first was Harold, a purple elephant, looking dapper in his tux and thick-rimmed glasses. The other was named Teddy, because every girl needs a bear named Teddy.

“Fit check, Harold!” I said, giving a twirl in my all-black outfit.

Harold approved, even though it wasn’t my usual style. I could feel my favorite yellow romper staring at me from my wardrobe, abandoned.

But yellow stuck out in a crowd. The Impelled preferred black.

“Fidelia, are you ready?” Luz called from the living room.

“Just about,” I said as I stepped up to the door, but paused.

Turning, I gave one last look at my family, burning their faces into my memory. We’d said our tearful goodbyes last night, when no one would notice. Teddy wanted one last hug, but I couldn’t without crying. Tears would be suspicious.

“Be good, you two,” I said with a wave. “Harold, you’re in charge while I’m gone.”

Whatever happened, I would never see them again. This was the end of my family. After tonight, I would have only enemies.

And Luz, my sister, would be the worst of them.

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u/sunderpoint — 1 day ago

[QCRIT] The Aether War, YA science-fantasy, 99k words, 1st attempt

I'm a little unsure about my comps. It's tricky to find recent non-romance books, and this story is purely a found family, so I got the best ones I could. This is my first time trying to get anything published.

Dear [AGENT]

THE WIND WIELDER is a dual-POV YA science-fantasy standalone with series potential, complete at 99,000 words. It combines LEGENDBORN’s underdog entering a secret magical society on modern-day Earth with AURORA RISING’s irreverent found family of misfits thrust into a galactic conflict.

What you feel is how you kill.

Aether magic is the most powerful weapon in the galaxy, and the trigger that fires it is emotion. That’s a problem for Simon, who feels nothing. It’s a nightmare for Fidelia, who feels everything.

Simon endures his junior year of high school marked by abuse, bullying, and if he’s lucky, video games. One day a mysterious teacher gives him Aether magic to protect himself, and to recruit him to a cult called the Impelled. Finally able to fight back against his abusers, Simon instead becomes one. Devastated, he joins a secret spacefaring society that protects Earth from the Impelled and promises to teach him the control he needs.

Fidelia was inducted into the Impelled military at the age of nine, surrendering her childhood. Now fourteen, she wants out, an act punishable by death. She says goodbye to her stuffed animals, pulls up her boots, and enacts a daring escape plan, succeeding but at a cost—lighting the fuse to the powder keg that is the galactic cold war.

Simon and Fidelia meet at a space military academy. Their classmates reject them for their ties to the enemy, their unstable emotions, and because they wield the two weakest elements ever seen—light and wind. To prove themselves, they enter a deadly school-wide tournament where they overcome their weaknesses by fighting for each other.

Before the tournament ends, war begins. When a desperate distress call reaches the school that no soldiers can answer, they do. Untrained and barely armed, they'll have to stop fighting their emotions—and start wielding them.

[BIO]

Thank you for your time and consideration.

[NAME]

reddit.com
u/sunderpoint — 1 day ago