u/supanov444

So my financial aid for college dropped and I have been doing my own research into trading for a year now. I haven’t been able to officially start trading because I felt as though I wasn’t ready or that I didn’t learn enough yet and most of the advice from mentors online said not to start trading unless you’re good at paper trading and know a lot. Unfortunately I owe 10k this semester and I’ll be dropped from classes if I don’t pay by Monday. With a payment plan I’ll have to be around 2500 a month and with my rent I’ll have to end up coughing up 4-5k per month which I cannot afford with my 2 current jobs. I am a first generation student whose parents are international so the currency gap won’t allow them to make a dent in my tuition even if they tried to help me pay it. I am 2 semesters away from graduating and I feel hopeless because I am meant to be the primary provider for my family and bring them to the US once I get a job within my career. Should I start trading now? Should I copy signals? Any advice on how to actually get started? I currently have Webull and RobinHood

ok so, i'm not sure if this is correct community to ask this but

i am a very hopeful person. when someone interacts with me and i pick up a weird vibe i give the benefit of the doubt if the person is charismatic. i love being around people who keep me on my toes and are very spontaneous but it always ends badly. i thought it was just bad luck from someone sweeping my feet as a kid or opening an umbrella inside but through self reflection over the years, i realised i just wasn't healed. i just felt like when something good happened in my life, it gets taken away so quickly which really affected my mental health.

now, when i lose people i get really in my head about it because i felt unworthy. eventually, i end up losing gifts for example, that were given to me by these people who are no longer in my life. one of my old high school friends gifted me a purple blanket and i kept it over the years since i use it a lot. 8 years after she gave it to me, i left it at a friend's house and every time we make plans for me to get it back, the person forgets to bring it or says that they misplaced it etc. i was very upset since i loved the blanket, not because the friend that gifted it still meant something to me at that point in my life. that's one example. another example is when my bf gave me a couple of his things (tshirts, beads, figurines) since i was about to move to another country and he ended up passing while i was foreign and i was unable to go back to his funeral. i ended up losing his fav tshirt after a year and it made me so devastated. the last example i'll give is one which is the most important to me. i lost my digital camera. my parents live in a completely different country from me and i rarely use my phone to take pics because i like to save my photos onto a flash drive and print them. my mom gifted me the camera for my 19th birthday after our old one stopped working years ago. i have so many meaningful pics on my digital camera with friends (new and old), old partners and the worst of all...pictures from my boyfriend's birthday which is the day i lost the camera. i was bawling and crying for weeks since i have pics of family i do not live with on there and i felt like i as losing all the memories i made with people over the past few years.

fast forward to right now, a couple months later i had a dream with people i no longer talk to and when i woke up i just felt like maybe it was for the best that i lost all those things since im at a new stage in my life and i have to learn how to let go??? maybe i'm overthinking it since i came across a post saying that my life path was meant to lose and break cycles. i'm a hoarder. i love keeping the little things that people give me even if they're no longer in my life.

can someone break this down and tell me if i'm just irresponsible or if this actually means more than i think?

thank you so much !! <3