u/superrelax40

I’ve completely abandoned my autonomy throughout this journey and have just become a pincushion and a vessel for a baby that does not even exist and probably won’t ever exist. I think I reached my breaking point when I had to cancel a trip to Europe to do a mock cycle because my last transfer didn’t work again surprise surprise. My whole life has been taken over by this. I can’t do anything for myself. I’ve lost hair. I’ve gained weight. I’m just over it. I’m sure this is a side effect of the progesterone that I’m currently on, but I am just so angry with this whole process. It is elective torture and I know I’m actively choosing this but I have no choice if I want to be a mother. Now I’m not even sure I do.

After two failed transfers I requested a mock cycle before my next transfer. I'm currently on cycle day five and my doctor had me start two patches of estrogen and one antagonist and then we'll have me come in for bloodwork and ultrasound in 2 days. She didn't really explain anything to me so I'm just wondering when does the biopsy typically take place? I also have a hysteroscopy scheduled for October 7 and they said that is fine. I'm also scheduled for a retrieval and transfer with my next period but I have no idea when that will be now since 1 am introducing hormones into the equation. I just don't understand the timing of everything and I have not heard back from my clinic. Can anyone shed some light?

I've had SIS/sounding done and took an empiric course of doxy/metro a few months prior to my last transfer 2 weeks ago. According to my doctor, everything looked fine, however 1 do have fibroids and a history of polyps. I had a myomectomy and hysteroscopy in 2019 but some grew back. I did not opt to get an endometrial biopsy done prior to this transfer, but I just did the course of antibiotics as a just in case. I know more than likely it's my egg quality but before I make the plunge with donor eggs, I want to be sure there's nothing wrong with my lining.

Has anyone else gone through this? I know donor eggs are not fool proof either so I definitely don't see it as a guarantee. I just want to make sure that I'm set up for success as much as possible. I really wish that clinics would be more proactive when it comes to lining issues but it seems you have to have a number of failures before they will consider it. It's been two transfers and five embryos total. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks :)

I saw Oh Mary for the third time tonight (first with Cole and then with Maya) and Bowen was absolutely hilarious as expected. I was just thinking they’ve pretty much cast every actor I could dream of for this role, the casting has been so on point. My Mary wishlist has mostly been ticked off, but I’ve always thought Jeff Hiller would be amazing. Has anyone heard any rumblings of future casting?