I was a victim of CSA and I found out my partner was a perpetrator
Bear with me I am still processing everything:
I (29F) was abused growing up for years. I have been open to my partner about it pretty early into our relationship. Me and my fiance (30M) have always had a rocky relationship with his mother. They were fighting often she was causing him stress so he went no contact with her for a bit. He reached out to her finally and wanted to clear the air and set boundaries. He called her and wanted me there as support.
Well….they started arguing and she mentioned he assaulted his little stepsister.
He hung up the phone and…I reacted, yelled threw things at him, even backhanded him at some point.
After a while I sat and talked. I asked questions and received the answers. He was around 12yrs old and she was 10yrs old no penetration. He was/is remorseful and hates himself for it as he should.
I am having a hard time processing this for a few extra reasons. I am having a hard time looking at him after I opened up and he was a perp all along. I am having a hard time trying not to diminish his bad acts because what I dealt with was…more physical and prolonged for years.
This is something I was never supposed to know about. The child victim in me is so sick but my heart is telling me it was 15+ years ago. I feel like I am at a crossroad.