u/sussybaka8421

I need people who aren’t emotionally involved in this to tell me what they think because I already know I’m probably overthinking it.
I was casually seeing this guy for a few weeks. We met at a coffee shop, talked for a while, hung out, and eventually hooked up. The sex was really good and we both agreed afterward that neither of us was ready for a relationship, so we were basically going to be friends with benefits.
I was completely okay with that. I wasn’t secretly expecting him to become my boyfriend. I liked him as a person and enjoyed talking/hanging out with him, but mostly I was excited to have someone I was attracted to who I could hang out with and hook up with occasionally.
After we hooked up, we hung out again and got boba. Nothing sexual happened that time besides kissing goodbye, but it was nice. After that, communication became less consistent. He works a lot and has his own clothing brand that’s been getting busier, so I knew he genuinely had a lot going on, but I started feeling like I was putting more effort into making plans than he was.
Eventually I asked when he wanted to hang out again. He apologized for being slow to respond and said we could definitely hang out on a weekend because he’d been busy.
Then the next morning he told me that after we hooked up, he’d been thinking and talking to his ex again.
He basically said he realized he wasn’t ready to start sleeping with people again because it wasn’t helping his healing process. He said he enjoyed being with me and still thought I felt really good, but he didn’t want to continue while knowing he was still emotionally dealing with his ex. He said he wanted to tell me before we got deeper into it.
I was disappointed, but I respected it. I told him I appreciated his honesty, wished him well, and stopped contacting him. We ended on good terms.
Here’s where I’m confused.
Recently I posted an Instagram story. I happened to be wearing a shirt from his clothing brand that he’d given me. He reacted to the picture with heart eyes and replied “AHHHHH.” I didn’t try to turn it into a conversation; I just liked his message.
Then today he liked another story of mine.
Obviously, liking stories isn’t a marriage proposal lol. He could literally just think I look good, be happy I’m wearing his brand, or be interacting with my stories because we’re still cool.
But because HE was the one who ended the sexual situation and said he needed to focus on healing/dealing with his ex, the flirty interactions are confusing me.
Part of me really wants to text him something like, “Okay lol I see you in my story likes. Are we just being friendly or are you testing the waters again?”
But another part of me thinks: he ended things, so if his situation has changed and he wants to see me again, shouldn’t HE be the one to actually say that?
For additional context, I don’t want a relationship with him. If he texted me tomorrow asking to hang out/hook up again, I’d honestly probably say yes. What I don’t like is sitting here trying to interpret heart eyes, story likes, and little interactions when I don’t know whether anything has actually changed.
I also know I’m more emotionally fixated on this than I probably should be right now. I have a lot of unrelated stressful things happening in my life, and I think having someone fun to talk to/hang out with became something I looked forward to. So I’m trying to be honest with myself about the possibility that I want to text him partly because I want attention/comfort, not because there’s actually anything I need to say.
So, unbiased strangers:
**Would you consider his Instagram behavior breadcrumbing/testing the waters, or just harmless flirting?**
**Would you text him directly and ask what’s up, or assume nothing has changed unless he explicitly tells me it has and leave the ball in his court?**
And please be honest if the answer is “girl, put your phone down and leave that man alone” because I may genuinely need to hear it from multiple people lol.

I need people who aren’t emotionally involved in this to tell me what they think because I already know I’m probably overthinking it.
I was casually seeing this guy for a few weeks. We met at a coffee shop, talked for a while, hung out, and eventually hooked up. The sex was really good and we both agreed afterward that neither of us was ready for a relationship, so we were basically going to be friends with benefits.
I was completely okay with that. I wasn’t secretly expecting him to become my boyfriend. I liked him as a person and enjoyed talking/hanging out with him, but mostly I was excited to have someone I was attracted to who I could hang out with and hook up with occasionally.
After we hooked up, we hung out again and got boba. Nothing sexual happened that time besides kissing goodbye, but it was nice. After that, communication became less consistent. He works a lot and has his own clothing brand that’s been getting busier, so I knew he genuinely had a lot going on, but I started feeling like I was putting more effort into making plans than he was.
Eventually I asked when he wanted to hang out again. He apologized for being slow to respond and said we could definitely hang out on a weekend because he’d been busy.
Then the next morning he told me that after we hooked up, he’d been thinking and talking to his ex again.
He basically said he realized he wasn’t ready to start sleeping with people again because it wasn’t helping his healing process. He said he enjoyed being with me and still thought I felt really good, but he didn’t want to continue while knowing he was still emotionally dealing with his ex. He said he wanted to tell me before we got deeper into it.
I was disappointed, but I respected it. I told him I appreciated his honesty, wished him well, and stopped contacting him. We ended on good terms.
Here’s where I’m confused.
Recently I posted an Instagram story. I happened to be wearing a shirt from his clothing brand that he’d given me. He reacted to the picture with heart eyes and replied “AHHHHH.” I didn’t try to turn it into a conversation; I just liked his message.
Then today he liked another story of mine.
Obviously, liking stories isn’t a marriage proposal lol. He could literally just think I look good, be happy I’m wearing his brand, or be interacting with my stories because we’re still cool.
But because he was the one who ended the sexual situation and said he needed to focus on healing/dealing with his ex, the flirty interactions are confusing me.
Part of me really wants to text him something like, “Okay lol I see you in my story likes. Are we just being friendly or are you testing the waters again?”
But another part of me thinks: he ended things, so if his situation has changed and he wants to see me again, shouldn’t he be the one to actually say that?
For additional context, I don’t want a relationship with him. If he texted me tomorrow asking to hang out/hook up again, I’d honestly probably say yes. What I don’t like is sitting here trying to interpret heart eyes, story likes, and little interactions when I don’t know whether anything has actually changed.
I also know I’m more emotionally fixated on this than I probably should be right now. I have a lot of unrelated stressful things happening in my life, and I think having someone fun to talk to/hang out with became something I looked forward to. So I’m trying to be honest with myself about the possibility that I want to text him partly because I want attention/comfort, not because there’s actually anything I need to say.
So, unbiased strangers:
Would you consider his Instagram behavior breadcrumbing/testing the waters, or just harmless flirting?
Would you text him directly and ask what’s up, or assume nothing has changed unless he explicitly tells me it has and leave the ball in his court?
And please be honest if the answer is “girl, put your phone down and leave that man alone” because I may genuinely need to hear it from multiple people lol.

Hi everyone,
I’m a 21 yr old female in Virginia and I’ve never been pulled over before or had any kind of criminal or traffic offense until now.
A few days ago I was driving 65 in a 35 (I know it was a terrible decision, and I already regret it, so I’m not looking to be lectured). I passed what I thought might have been a police car. I wasn’t completely sure, but I got nervous and turned into an empty parking lot near a school. The officer pulled in behind me.
When he came to my window, he asked why I was sitting there with my headlights off and said something along the lines of, “You should’ve just pulled over for the police.” I apologized but didn’t admit to trying to avoid him or anything like that.
He took my license, came back with a summons for reckless driving, and gave me a court date for a few months form now. I asked what happens next since I’ve never been through this before, but he didn’t really explain much.
Now I’m in the middle of applying for an apartment through an income-restricted housing program, and one of the questions asks if I have any pending charges.
My questions are:
Does a Virginia reckless driving summons count as a pending charge before I’ve gone to court?
Should I answer “yes” on the application?
If I answer yes, is that something that usually gets people denied, or do they generally wait until the case is resolved?
Also, since reckless driving is treated as a criminal offense in Virginia, is it worth hiring a lawyer for a first offense?
I’m just really stressed because I’m trying to get approved for housing and don’t want to accidentally lie on the application, but I also don’t want to hurt my chances if I’m misunderstanding what “pending charges” means.
Any advice from people who’ve been through something similar would really help. Thanks.