u/suzannetakesyoudown

The ear worm has burrowed its way into my head. I’m not sure I even like it — it’s neither musically nor lyrically complicated.

I’m very sick and need something to distract me, so let me know what your thoughts are if you’ve read it.

Some people have described it as a gay Great Gatsby and while I haven’t read all of TGG and can’t speak to that, I get the sense that they’re similar in that they’re both about seeking all one’s fulfillment in a concept outside oneself : in TGG, the characters are after money and in DFTD it’s love & sex. TDFTD seems to argue that looking for satisfaction that doesn’t come from within is futile in the end, while not offering any easy answers about what would succeed in making its characters content with their lot in life.

That last part is what I’ve been thinking about, as I don’t think Holleran is necessarily suggesting that disaffected party animals should just convert to Buddhism and start meditating either. The most satisfied character in the book might be Sutherland, who has a wide variety of hobbies and enjoys helping members of his community who are in trouble, designing elaborate drag costumes, reading old novels and religious texts, and thinking up creative quips and jokes. Sutherland treats life like a piece of performance art. Meanwhile, Malone seems to take everything that happens to him very seriously. It could be argued that what he’s ultimately undone by is his inability to laugh at life’s absurdities. If the author has any clear message, it might be that humor, far from being trivial, is one of the best forms of salvation we have.

Nothing will come close so even a pale substitute would be good.

I want to spend my twenties in a place that I enjoy.

I saw a screening of it in a theater on Mother’s Day and it sure was something. I feel like it would be strange for someone to either like or dislike it — it’s more of an experience than a coherent movie that can be critiqued.

What are your thoughts

**OK these responses were encouraging. I already have a loose relationship w social norms and my main concern was that people would treat me even more like an alien than they would to begin with for wearing something so old fashioned. I don’t care if I get a few strange looks, where it becomes a problem is when I’m in a situation where I want to be taken seriously. Where I am the most formal a lot of people get is athleisure and puffer jackets. So it’s fine & I will be an elegant extraterrestrial. ⭐️

Fuck.

What I like about practices that might be labeled superstitious is that they demonstrate how people have a natural instinct for spirituality that tends to find an outlet even when organized religion has fallen by the wayside. One time I saw this lesbian policewoman wearing a rose quartz point pendant while in uniform and the juxtaposition felt very interesting & satisfying to me.

**Wanted to note I’m not pro-c*p at all. It was the contrast between the stiff formality and the New-Age-iness that got me, not the person herself.

I just want to be in a pleasant & artistic place where I can work to live, and they seem to think I’m the enemy out to steal their jobs. Like damn where am I supposed to go then.

I don’t drink and on Fridays the bar I go to most often fills up with strangers who might try to talk to me. I don’t want to be talked to!! I just want to read my book in a place where there’s people in the background.

(I was reading this interview with a fashion designer who mostly chooses not to partake and he says he feels a moral obligation to dance because it’s a celebration of the human spirit. I’d like to reach a point where I feel the same.)

People say lots of things about late stage capitalism and while I’m inclined to believe there’s nothing new under the sun, something about seeing rows and rows of locked-up merchandise feels disturbing. It makes shopping such a jarring experience and I feel bad for the employees constantly having to open and re-lock each area all day.

I’m often not that fond of a lot of popular indie music and this is a bandwagon I’m happy to hop onto. I really enjoy the fact that so many people in my circles like Heavy Metal. I feel like music is meant to be shared and a lot of times it’s been a solitary experience for me. Songs become tied to periods of time and it’s such a nice change to have something that feels current — Love Takes Miles in particular is going to be a classic. When I look back on this year I’ll always think of that album.

This morning I was thinking about Patti Smith’s book Just Kids and the part I keep mulling over is how she was OK with sleeping in the New York subway until she managed to get a job and a place to live. You hear about other poor artists doing this as well, Diane di Prima writes about sleeping in parks when she couldn’t pay rent. Neither woman received financial support from their families. I can’t understand how anyone could have enough trust in themselves and their own abilities that they’d be willing to move somewhere without any savings or backup plan. While there’s beauty in that, sure, their conviction that things would turn out all right in the end mostly seems delusional to me. I’m curious what other people think.