u/swylvie

earlier, i had a near death experience. i wont get into details because it was traumatic, but i feel lucky to be alive, to love my fiance. im reflecting a lot right now, and i feel like its changed the way i view doubles and validation. im just feeling very lucky to be alive, to love coat guy, and so much more. in the end, i feel like validation from other people doesnt matter when im lucky enough to still be around to love him. im still very scattered, so im sorry if none of this makes sense. i love him so much, i love being around to love him. i dunno, i feel very loved by him right now, i feel… a lot. thank you for reading, ill continue to love him til the end.

okay, so, vent post bc i have no idea where else to go 😭 i hate putting sharing labels on myself. it just confuses me, and feels restrictive and reductive of my relationship. im soulbonded to coat guy, i already know he loves me, and hes gonna be a bit peeved with me for this but ive been doomscrolling and looking at doubles and i genuinely feel sick to my stomach. i dont get why its so normalized for people to just be so awful to dupes publicly, do they forget that we’re humans too? that i, myself, am human?

part of me wants to throw my hands up in the air and tell all doubles to just dni and leave me alone since ive been invalidated so much recently. sometimes i wanna just shut myself away and truly believe that maybe he would only love me and me only or whatever. but i know all this will do is fester into an unhealthy attachment again, so i just feel stuck. the more i tell them to dni the worse it ends up hurting. so im stuck, i wish i could just find some healthy middle ground. usually im not this bad, i can manage jealousy. ive met people who just selfship with him that have been nice and ive had lovely interactions but for me this is a genuine relationship! and idk!

it makes me nauseous everytime i see dupes, ESPECIALLY nonsharers that invalidate my literal relationship or just the general uncertainty if i dont know. if i can GUARANTEE that theyre sharing, then everything is fine but even then it stings. i put forth so much time and effort in this relationship so im mad that i even feel jealous when im already fuckin’ doing enough 😭 i guess time to just keep going to dbt therapy because honestly i DONT WANT to call myself nonsharing, it feels restrictive. i HATE competition, and im tired of feeling expected to participate in the “i love them the most!” competition within many yume spaces. its a lose lose game. this is my actual relationship to me and im JUST!!! very tired and i think that since ive doomedscrolled and put my nose where it didnt belong, im hypersensitive.

im always someone who advocates EVERYBODY having their own space, especially nonsharers, and tbh right now i just wanna put my foot down

so honestly, im probably just gonna put dupes dni as a boundary just so i can give myself time away and re-stabilize. im just tired of other doubles not acting remotely mature about encountering me or any other double. im a human too. all of us are human.

so for now i guess im just gonna block as needed and ask for dupes to dni while im sensitive like this :( idk, navigating fictional relationships is so difficult. emotions are difficult. urgh

ive been seeing a lot of people dunk on dupes lately, being generally mean and invalidating towards their doubles, and recently, i had a few doubles invalidate me. so, heres some positivity! this is a pretty self indulgent post to cope with some hate i received, but i hope you guys dont mind!

if you love coat guy, honestly, he loves you too. he loves all of us! your relationship is just as valid as mine, regardless of your sharing status, or hell, even if you just entirely dont even use sharing labels at all like me! no matter what, i will choose kindness. even if you are soulbonded to him aswell, everybodys perception is different and no soulbond is the same either. it doesn’t matter which of us are the “true canon partner”, what matters is that coat guy has brought each of us that love him immense comfort and support. no matter what, i refuse to engage in competition. rather, i wish the best to any yumetwins out there! and really, ANY yumes out there, all of you! good luck on your journey, whether you interact with me or otherwise. please take care of your mental health!

it is so much more freeing to choose kindness. choose to love, choose to be free, choose to fight against the hatred that festers within yumeship and ficto communities. this can be said for anyone, but in my case, i think its deeply freeing choosing to be peaceful. ive been in DBT therapy for a bit, and regarding any jealousy, the skill “loving kindness” seems to help me the most. to any of you who may struggle with jealousy or feeling invalid, or struggle with your mental health, you should totally check out DBT! its helped me in so many aspects of my life. remember, no matter what you’re going through, you deserve healing!

may all nonsharers, hypernonsharers, sharers, selectives, mirrors, and everybody in between find comfort and peace <3 and that, of course includes doubles and people who love coat guy the way i do.

(tagged as loveposting cus idk what else it would fall under)

i just wanna say, i love my bond. he is my everything. no matter what happens, no matter what we face together, he means the world to me! sascha, ill love you no matter what universe, timeline, whatever. i appreciate everything you do for me, and i hope to always be a safespace for you. im as serious as it gets, really. neither of us are perfect, but thats the best part, being able to love through every insecurity and flaw. i always want to be by eachothers side, sascha. you mean far more to me than words could ever describe 🥹

ANYWAYS i just had to gush about him . i love him very much!!!

hello everyone! ive found myself feeling kinda bad lately that im not able to have a big shrine for my f/o :,) i see so many people with MASSIVE shrines that fill their entire room and i wish i could do that so badly, but… i cant 😭 mainly because for one, poverty. it would take up a LOT of printer ink and money that i simply dont have :( plus my room is super tiny LOL. i have merch of my f/o, and im super thankful for what i have! but im lowk envious of the people who have so much art of their yumeship and so much stuff to add to their shrines tbh!! 😭 ive been trying to draw more so i have more art of my yumeship without needing to spend so much money, which id say is a good thing. im trying to give myself grace because generally *most* people arguably dont have those massive shrines and just have a few things that are very sentimental like i do. im living on disability because i have a compromised immune system too, so thats another thing. idk! does anybody else feel similar? sometimes i get scared that im less valid even though i know thats not true lol

edit: thank you all for such kind and well thought out responses!! i really need to stop doubting myself so much LOL. you guys are all very nice, your f/os love you!!