Started a shitty new job and had about enough today when my coworker had to reach into a trash bin to pull out used needles. My sister said there might be two osha violations here. I’m looking for more opinions on this.
NSFW due to cussing
My (M38) partner (M48) won’t ever sponsor a marriage visa
So I have been talking with my partner since late January. We met for the first time last month, for three week, and had a wonderful time. I traveled to his country (Germany) from USA and the questions that we had about our connection were all answered. Before meeting, we talked all day long, every day. Since I’ve returned, we still talk just as often, but he is much more emotionally invested (and sad about the distance). We had a wonderful time and mutually want to be together.
The issue is that he is not willing to marry me (or anyone) in order for us to be together. I just assumed, because he used the term “future husband” and because it was the logical way for us to be together, that this was something he was willing to do. We talked about it, and he just isn’t comfortable marrying someone.
I want to make it clear that if he needed more time to determine his feelings but eventually wanted to marry someone, that would be understandable. But the issue is he wants to be with me, wants me to come from the USA to Germany to be with him, but wants me to do so somehow magically without marriage.
I’ve looked into language visas and a visa for highly skilled workers, and while there are some possibilities, they will take time, a lot of work, and there won’t be any certainty until I am there and land a job. And because my field is in education, it will be difficult to find a job.
He is financially doing well, has everything he needs in his life, and certainly could afford to sponsor me. He did offer to pay half of the funds I’d need to prove the Germany government I could afford to be there (6-8k€). But I just feel like it’s too uncertain.
There is more to the story but, is he right in his feelings? Is this an impossible situation?
He is dedicated, focused, and we are committed at this time. But it just feels like he has a hang up that will make it unlikely we can move forward.
Thanks for your thoughts
American first time out of the country. Was very surprised at how much I blended in and didn’t stand out. I visited for almost three weeks, particularly the west of the country. Also spent a good amount of time in Switzerland and one day in France.
I can understand better the place of blacks in American society… I always feel like I’m being stared at or making people uncomfortable at home. In Germany, nobody seemed to care that I was black, or in a store, or at a cafe. I had a really positive experience and sure wish I could live there permanently
I'm meeting my nevermet partner for the first time in less than two weeks (and feeling excited, nervous, overwhelmed, etc!) and it will also be his birthday. He told me that I was his present this year, but I would really like to get him something meaningful. He loves tea, he loves squirrels, so I am already looking at gifts to do with those things, but am wondering if any of you have ideas? I would be grateful.
Thank you!