Genuinely so confused about this friend!!!
Just a disclaimer: A difference of 300 rupees is around $3.14 which may not be significant for a person living in the US but geography changes everything. Here, 300 can get you one kfc/dominos/burger king meal or your bus fare for 4-5days and or a week of groceries and so on.
I’m 20f and my friend Lara, 21f are college buddies. We met in college and initially were a group of 3 but our other friend had to transfer coz of personal reasons. Now, me and the other friend started hanging out first but later Lara joined us. Honestly, me and Lara never vibed much but it wasn’t anything bad. Uni is 5-6 hours so I could easily deal with her. Once the other friend left, things did become a lil tough in the beginning but I think we opened up gradually and are at a good place as of now. Although I don’t think we’ll ever be close enough coz I just don't think it's possible with our personalities but I do see us remain as casual friends even when uni is over and maybe hang out from time to time in the future. But there are some issues.
So Lara is definitely a smart woman, street smart and I can’t say the same about me. I'm kinda dumb when it comes to thinking out fast in public. So we went to this park almost a year ago and she got us the first snack which was 550 rupees and later on I got the drinks(which I wasn't interested in getting but felt obligated coz she got us the snack) which was 720 rupees and I have a rule that anything above 100 rupees should be split coz we are college students and have no part time jobs here(well it’s India). But since it was the first time, I didn’t wanna get petty for 170 rupees. Although I expected that she'll bring up the split but she never did. And ofc, if I would not have gotten the drinks, I'd have paid her half the amount of the snacks.
Recently, we went out again. This time, to the movies and due to traffic I reached late so she had to get the popcorn. She got half caramel and and half extra cheese popcorn(size: large). And I hate caramel, ofc she didn't know about it but we were texting constantly so she could've simply asked me instead she deliberately got what she liked but I thought whatever since I was late and the movie had already started, I didn’t care much. Next, I got the drinks. At first, she was reluctant to get one but eventually did get one and I paid for them. Again, the price difference between what we got was around hundred-something. The drinks were 700-something and according to her, the popcorn was 600-something(now idk if she was telling the truth coz I asked her about the price after I got the drinks so she knew how much the drinks cost so I can see her lying about it if she didn't want to split but again it's just an assumption).
Also both times, we couldn't finish what she got and she took the remaining to her home. Now, you guys might feel like I am being too petty and maybe I am but it’s so hard to deal with her. This also reminds me, one time, we went to a fest from college, the 3 of us and I paid for the tickets coz they didn’t have cash and online payment was not accepted. The other friend, she paid me back but Lara never did. Now that amount was pretty insignificant so I don't bother with that. So in total, she owes me 300-something rupees. And no, I'll not ask her to pay it back coz it would sound petty as hell. But there seems to be a pattern here, don't you think? Not owning up...or something of that sort.
That's the money part. Other than that, she always makes other people do what she wants but they are mostly harmless but I find it unsettling. She'll also make weird remarks. This one time I told her that I wish to get a tattoo and she raised her eyebrow and made a face, saying "Tattoo, you?" and one other time, we were talking about boyfriends and none of us had dated before so when she asked if I have a boyfriend and even before I could answer she added, "Yeah, ofcourse you don't", which I didn't know what to make out of. Now, ik I should've questioned her then about what she meant and it could've been something silly but I freeze every time she makes these comments and later at home regret about it.
Also, I am rarely absent but I couldn't come one day coz I was hell sick so I texted her to remind the teacher about the application that I personally sent to the teacher. Thankfully, I also asked another of my classmate to remind the teacher about it coz Lara hadn't replied so I was unsure if she was even present that day. But Lara texted me back saying not to worry and that she'll do it. But I found from the other friend that she didn't tell the teacher in fact and this other classmate reminded the teacher of my application. And when I confronted Lara about this, she simply said that she forgot. This girl, who literally remembers every detail of a movie she watched 10yrs ago, forgets something I texted her minutes ago. But fine, it was one time. But I remember her then on, telling at least 5 people to remind the teacher about her application whenever she was absent(ofc she told me too). Is it because she thought I'd do the same with her?
A lot of people tell me how she's very selfish (being selfish is good but when your selfishness harm/ take advantage of other people that's problematic) and well I knew about that but uni is tough and I don't think I atp can make more friends and assignments and projects are so much easier with a friend so I keep sticking to her(see, I'm selfish too).
So I need advice regarding how I keep myself sane while staying friends with her. Genuinely, she's not unbearable and we have a good time together but little things that bother me, how do I keep them in check? How can I talk money with her in the future without making it sound like I'm being petty and in general how do I deal with someone who's not a friend(I have a feeling she doesn't think of me as one but well assumptions again) and someone who's very smart???