u/tcm7991

I'm a 29 year old woman & was diagnosed with ADHD about a year ago. I tried 3 different medications and unfortunately none of them worked for me. I feel like it's ruining my life and stopping me from doing anything. I also have bipolar and autism, which definitely contribute to my challenges, but I take meds that help manage my bipolar and have some coping mechanisms for my autism.

But the ADHD is making life so debilitating, and it makes my life feel like one big depressive episode despite my actual depression being managed. For example I have no motivation, energy or discipline, I cannot engage in any of my interests, I feel so vacant and withdrawn because I just do not know what to do with myself. I had to quit my job and have been relying on benefits the past few years. I don't want to be like this forever but I have no idea how I can make things better, especially given medication didn't work.

I have had countless therapies and sadly not found them effective. I have no real independence and am very reliant on my family to do things for me. Ultimately I just cannot imagine my life improving and am scared it will be like this forever. Each day I wake up and cannot engage with anything to fill the day (whether it's boring/menial tasks that need doing, or my genuine interests - I just don't have the capacity to engage with them). As a result the days feel so long as my mind is racing but I do not have the executive functions to exercise the things my mind is desperate for me to do. I feel like I am just existing and watching the days go by but have no ability to join in.

I am also pretty much addicted to scrolling on my phone - which I realise will contribute a lot to my ADHD challenges. It's a nightmare because the constant short form content found online is such a dopamine loop for ADHDers, hence the addiction. I am trying to address this and reduce my screentime in the hope that it will help me, but even this is difficult as it is the only thing that can hold my attention (even if it is in a bad way).

I guess I just wanna ask people for any tips or advice if they have struggled with similar things. When you have been at rock bottom as a result of mental health/ ADHD - how did you get out of it? What are some small steps I can take to try and make my brain function better. How can I reduce my screentime and train my brain to enjoy engaging in things I genuinely love like reading books, writing, creating etc? Any tips or advice will be much appreciated.

I'm a 29 year old woman & was diagnosed with ADHD about a year ago. I tried 3 different medications and unfortunately none of them worked for me. I feel like it's ruining my life and stopping me from doing anything. I also have bipolar and autism, which definitely contribute to my challenges, but I take meds that help manage my bipolar and have some coping mechanisms for my autism.

But the ADHD is making life so debilitating, and it makes my life feel like one big depressive episode despite my actual depression being managed. For example I have no motivation, energy or discipline, I cannot engage in any of my interests, I feel so vacant and withdrawn because I just do not know what to do with myself. I had to quit my job and have been relying on benefits the past few years. I don't want to be like this forever but I have no idea how I can make things better, especially given medication didn't work.

I have had countless therapies and sadly not found them effective. I have no real independence and am very reliant on my family to do things for me. Ultimately I just cannot imagine my life improving and am scared it will be like this forever. Each day I wake up and cannot engage with anything to fill the day (whether it's boring/menial tasks that need doing, or my genuine interests - I just don't have the capacity to engage with them). As a result the days feel so long as my mind is racing but I do not have the executive functions to exercise the things my mind is desperate for me to do. I feel like I am just existing and watching the days go by but have no ability to join in.

I am also pretty much addicted to scrolling on my phone - which I realise will contribute a lot to my ADHD challenges. It's a nightmare because the constant short form content found online is such a dopamine loop for ADHDers, hence the addiction. I am trying to address this and reduce my screentime in the hope that it will help me, but even this is difficult as it is the only thing that can hold my attention (even if it is in a bad way).

I guess I just wanna ask people for any tips or advice if they have struggled with similar things. When you have been at rock bottom as a result of mental health/ ADHD - how did you get out of it? What are some small steps I can take to try and make my brain function better. How can I reduce my screentime and train my brain to enjoy engaging in things I genuinely love like reading books, writing, creating etc? Any tips or advice will be much appreciated.

Hi - it is approaching two years since I started receiving benefits from universal credit. Due to various mental health challenges and disabilities I was eligible for the limited capability for work and work related activity, meaning I am not expected to work or prepare for work. I was fortunately eligible for PIP also. These two payments have been a huge help these past couple of years.

I am a little nervous though as I recently was told by UC I have a review. I was told to provide bank statements from the last 4 months, and these will be reviewed via a phone call. I understand that the reasons for this is to flag any fraudulent type activity, but I am a little concerned that my spending might be questioned or look suspicious, and to what level I am expected to justify them.

For example, I am autistic and struggle a lot with socialising and going out. Fortunately, because of my benefits I can now use the accessibility services in places like the cinemas or theatre (something I could not do before). As a result I can now frequent the cinemas or theatres and like to do this regularly, so long as I have someone with me, as films and theatre are my two big interests.

Additionally, I am very overweight and was advised by a doctor to look into weight loss jabs (hoping this will help me both physically and mentally). As such I am 3 months into taking mounjaro (paying privately).

Lastly, in the past couple of years I have had some small trips with family or friends. A weekend in London, overnight stay in Manchester, and a few months ago a friend got married abroad and I attended. Of course the DWP does not see the behind the scenes of these trips - how challenging they can be for someone with disabilities, and the support and planning needed for me to attend these trips safely. I guess I am just worried that they will see transactions on my bank account for weight loss jabs, aeroplane tickets etc and think I am taking advantage and abusing their payments so that I can use their money for cosmetic reasons or holidays, which is not the case.

In a way, the benefits have broadened the scope of what I can do now, in a way I could not before, as they allowed me to be eligible for more access schemes and services (for example I could access priority boarding on the aeroplane when I went to my friends wedding). I live at home with my mam and am very reliant on her, and cannot go places alone - so I am always with a friend or family member. But yeah - I guess I am scared that my spendings will be questioned and not fully contextualised.

Hi, I’m really hoping someone can offer advice about an ongoing issue with our neighbour’s dogs. This post might be long so I appreciate anyone reading it.

I live at home with my mam, and we moved into our terraced house about 16 months ago (England, UK). Both neighbours on either side have dogs, and we also have a small dog, but the main issue is with one set of neighbours.

They have two small dogs that are left alone everyday whilst they are at work. The neighbours always leave their back doors open, and so the dogs are left with full access to both the house and garden. They both bark constantly, literally for hours on end every day.

Whether we stay inside or try to sit in the garden, we can’t escape it, and barely use the garden with our own dog anymore because he just goes mad at the fence, and because their dogs are unsupervised there is no one there to calm them down or call them in.

It's impacting us hugely. My mam works shifts, including nights, and can't sleep during the day for the noise. I myself am also autistic, and very sensitive to noise, so the constant barking is so overwhelming.

We spoke with other people on the street and learned that these neighbours are known for been difficult, several people have moved out of the street because of them, and at least 8 complaints to the council have been made, with no change. Attempts at resolving issues directly have never worked with them. We have tried speaking to them twice already but they just said if we don't like it then we should move.

We have tried/ are considering a few things to diffuse things, such as..

- We paid for new fence panels because their dogs had damaged them, but within one day, the new panels had already been damaged again by the dogs launching at the fence.

- We're looking into something that can provide an additional physical barrier between our dogs and their dogs - like planters/sleepers running along the full fence, but they seem costly and require upkeep.

- Considering ring doorbells/ cameras to capture any evidence to provide to the council (but again, costly).

- Also doing ongoing training with our dog to reduce his own reactivity (but it’s hard when the trigger for him is constant and outside our control).

From past experience, I’m aware the council process usually involves keeping noise diaries etc and then noise abatement orders may be issued. My concern is that if 8 complaints have already been made, do we really stand much chance of action been taken? And even if they do take it seriously, the process of escalation (warnings, fines, etc.) can take a very long time (sometimes years), before any meaningful enforcement happens, especially if the neighbour doesn’t cooperate.

Ultimately, the problem is that none of these really solve the root issue: the fact their dogs are left to bark all day, every day. We can do all of those things above and maybe reduce the intensity of things a little, but the issue of the barking would persist nevertheless. 

We feel completely trapped. We can’t relax in our own home, can’t enjoy our garden, and moving isn’t realistically an option.

Is it genuinely worth sticking with the council process, or is it likely to go nowhere? Are there any practical steps we can take that we might not have thought of? Is it normal for 8 complaints to have previously been made with no action taken? Can I informally ask the council if complaints were in fact logged to that address, and if so, how many? Or would it be confidential info as it relates to people who aren't us? I just wonder if that could help fast track our own complaints.

I’d really appreciate any advice or experiences. We are just exhausted and want some peace in our own home.

Hi, I’m really hoping someone can offer advice about an ongoing issue with our neighbour’s dogs. This post might be long so I appreciate anyone reading it.

I live at home with my mam, and we moved into our terraced house about 16 months ago (England, UK). Both neighbours on either side have dogs, and we also have a small dog, but the main issue is with one set of neighbours.

They have two small dogs that are left alone everyday whilst they are at work. The neighbours always leave their back doors open, and so the dogs are left with full access to both the house and garden. They both bark constantly, literally for hours on end every day.

Whether we stay inside or try to sit in the garden, we can’t escape it, and barely use the garden with our own dog anymore because he just goes mad at the fence, and because their dogs are unsupervised there is no one there to calm them down or call them in.

It's impacting us hugely. My mam works shifts, including nights, and can't sleep during the day for the noise. I myself am also autistic, and very sensitive to noise, so the constant barking is so overwhelming.

We spoke with other people on the street and learned that these neighbours are known for been difficult, several people have moved out of the street because of them, and at least 8 complaints to the council have been made, with no change. Attempts at resolving issues directly have never worked with them. We have tried speaking to them twice already but they just said if we don't like it then we should move.

We have tried/ are considering a few things to diffuse things, such as..

- We paid for new fence panels because their dogs had damaged them, but within one day, the new panels had already been damaged again by the dogs launching at the fence.

- We're looking into something that can provide an additional physical barrier between our dogs and their dogs - like planters/sleepers running along the full fence, but they seem costly and require upkeep.

- Considering ring doorbells/ cameras to capture any evidence to provide to the council (but again, costly).

- Also doing ongoing training with our dog to reduce his own reactivity (but it’s hard when the trigger for him is constant and outside our control).

From past experience, I’m aware the council process usually involves keeping noise diaries etc and then noise abatement orders may be issued. My concern is that if 8 complaints have already been made, do we really stand much chance of action been taken? And even if they do take it seriously, the process of escalation (warnings, fines, etc.) can take a very long time (sometimes years), before any meaningful enforcement happens, especially if the neighbour doesn’t cooperate.

Ultimately, the problem is that none of these really solve the root issue: the fact their dogs are left to bark all day, every day. We can do all of those things above and maybe reduce the intensity of things a little, but the issue of the barking would persist nevertheless. 

We feel completely trapped. We can’t relax in our own home, can’t enjoy our garden, and moving isn’t realistically an option.

Is it genuinely worth sticking with the council process, or is it likely to go nowhere? Are there any practical steps we can take that we might not have thought of? Is it normal for 8 complaints to have previously been made with no action taken? Can I informally ask the council if complaints were in fact logged to that address, and if so, how many? Or would it be confidential info as it relates to people who aren't us? I just wonder if that could help fast track our own complaints.

I’d really appreciate any advice or experiences. We are just exhausted and want some peace in our own home.