Confession: My Dad doesn't know I'm getting married. (He doesn't even know I'm in a relationship)
Hello Reddit Family,
Posting this because I needed a safe space to vent. First off, it's important to mention that I have a complicated relationship with my father. He and my mom divorced when I was very young, he remarried and had 3 kids, and kind of left me out to dry in the process. Throughout my life, I see him 1-2x a year, though less and less as the years pass. He means well, but he's a bit of a narcissist and kind of clueless how his absentee vibe has impacted me. I have a superficial but friendly relationship with my siblings from my dad's second marriage, but we are not that close. I identify as an only-child.
Fast forward to now: I'm 38, getting married to my Italian fiance in a beautiful villa in Sorrento in September. My mom, who basically raised me completely on her own, is also funding the wedding. She absolutely hates my father, and I know if it were up to her he would 100% not be invited to the wedding. A part of me feels guilty for inviting him since he won't contribute to it financially and I don't want my mom to have to throw a party for him in any way.
I saw my father recently and he was asking the life update questions, "Are you seeing anyone?" and I said no. I need help processing the guilt I feel by not inviting my father or any of my siblings to my wedding. I know if he was there, I would feel that twinge of sadness of him acting like a father on the most important day of my life, but not deserving that role or recognition because he has been MIA my entire life.
I am anxious about posting information or pictures or really anything related to my wedding on social media because I am worried he or my siblings will find out that I just straight up did not invite them or mention the wedding to them ever.
Is this insane? Is this ok? I feel so guilty but I also know it's sort of how it has to go down.
Thanks in advance for the pep talk. My wedding is in 60 days from today.