u/thechamac0

I (m21) have been thinking non stop about this guy (M23) I met a couple of weeks ago.
For context: we met on Grindr (yes, I know) months ago but I wasn’t super interested so nothing ever happened. One day I was bored and we matched so I went over to his place and had genuinely the best time of my life, so much so that I suggested I was okay sleeping there since it was already 3am by the time we were done watching movies, talking and having “fun”, just to basically get told no by him. We proceeded to meet 3 more times in the next week and the vibes were amazing, during the 2nd time he suggested I could stay there for the night and that night I honestly think I fell in love.
Fast forward to our last meeting, I messaged him saying he could come over if he was home (I was coming home from work), and I could already feel the vibes were off from the chat. He said he didn’t feel like staying the night but that he would come, he put it in a very “just to make you happy” way, and the night went horrible, not sure what happened, if he was too high to function (he smokes w&&d), if he had other things in mind or what but he was “just there”… I asked him multiple times if everything was fine but he always answered with “yeah sure and u?”, I made him understand that I was more than okay just having him there watching tv without having to take things further and that I wasn’t really comfortable but he didn’t take the hint. We proceeded to take things further and half way thru it I told him to just go home and that the vibe was off.
He wrote me 2 days after acting like nothing happened, after replying he took his sweet time to reply just to told me he was out with friends to wich I never replied.
Yesterday I randomly saw him with another guy I’ve seen on Grindr and I’ve been spyraling since.
He is so far from what I usually like and find “attractive”, he is basically a theatre kid very in touch with his feminine side and open about it.. wich is not something I usually find attractive in guys (absolutely nothing against its just my preference) but for some reason I can’t stop thinking about him.
I’m a not sure about what steps to take next, I know I want to somehow confront him to either close things or see where things go, this has never happened to me before but I feel like I like him too much to keep things casual and “open” so acting like nothing is happening would only make me suffer. I’m also not sure if he likes me in that way, he was always super nice and caring with me but he looks like the type of person that is genuinely like that with everyone so I think it wasn’t because “it’s me”.
English is not my main language so pardon me if there are any mistakes, suggestions are more than welcomed

I (m21) have been thinking non stop about this guy I met a couple of weeks ago.
For context: we met on Grindr (yes, I know) months ago but I wasn’t super interested so nothing ever happened. One day I was bored and we matched so I went over to his place and had genuinely the best time of my life, so much so that I suggested I was okay sleeping there since it was already 3am by the time we were done watching movies, talking and having “fun”, just to basically get told no by him. We proceeded to meet 3 more times in the next week and the vibes were amazing, during the 2nd time he suggested I could stay there for the night and that night I honestly think I fell in love.
Fast forward to our last meeting, I messaged him saying he could come over if he was home (I was coming home from work), and I could already feel the vibes were off from the chat. He said he didn’t feel like staying the night but that he would come, he put it in a very “just to make you happy” way, and the night went horrible, not sure what happened, if he was too high to function (he smokes w&&d), if he had other things in mind or what but he was “just there”… I asked him multiple times if everything was fine but he always answered with “yeah sure and u?”, I made him understand that I was more than okay just having him there watching tv without having to take things further and that I wasn’t really comfortable but he didn’t take the hint. We proceeded to take things further and half way thru it I told him to just go home and that the vibe was off.
He wrote me 2 days after acting like nothing happened, after replying he took his sweet time to reply just to told me he was out with friends to wich I never replied.
Yesterday I randomly saw him with another guy I’ve seen on Grindr and I’ve been spyraling since.
He is so far from what I usually like and find “attractive”, he is basically a theatre kid very in touch with his feminine side and open about it.. wich is not something I usually find attractive in guys (absolutely nothing against its just my preference) but for some reason I can’t stop thinking about him.
I’m a not sure about what steps to take next, I know I want to somehow confront him to either close things or see where things go, this has never happened to me before but I feel like I like him too much to keep things casual and “open” so acting like nothing is happening would only make me suffer. I’m also not sure if he likes me in that way, he was always super nice and caring with me but he looks like the type of person that is genuinely like that with everyone so I think it wasn’t because “it’s me”.
English is not my main language so pardon me if there are any mistakes, suggestions are more than welcomed