u/themaster7_2

I am in constant pain every single day. Lately the pain has been much worse and heating pads with tramadol and medical cannabis are losing effectiveness. I cannot think clearly because of the pain, and I feel so hopeless about it. I feel horrible that my partner has to deal with it. I sometimes wish he would be with someone healthy and normal instead, Im only 27 yet I have to see numerous doctors monthly and do physical therapy consistently. I havent deep cleaned the house in a while, its so hard to do anything physically... my insecurities only get worse because of my curved spine. He tells me how beautiful I am, and all I can see is the shape of my back and the exhausted look of pain on my face. I am trying to lose 20 lbs to reach my goal of 120 lbs yet I fail to stay with a diet and exercise routine because of this pain. These... conditions are controlling my life and stripping away what little bit I have..

Sometimes the pain is so severe that I dont care about dying, I welcome the thought of it.

We have to communicate to get things done, and they are pretty passive aggressive. It puts me in an awkward spot when I have to ask about something work related and get ignored or snapped at.

So I got my kitten very young (2 months) and as he has gotten older he has slowly been getting more aggressive to my older female cat (who pretty much hates all cats) and today he grabbed onto her and wouldn't let her go until I slammed a door which resulted in him ripping out my female cats hair. He got neutered about 2 months ago and just seems to be getting worse. We also have an older male cat. I work full time and dont have the capability to have play sessions multiple times a day. Ive tried using distractions and separation and it has not been helping. For some reason my kitten is absolutely fixated on torturing my older female cat. I have never heard her scream or be in distress or get hurt like she did until today.. Im not sure what to do.