u/thenotdeadmemer

The world is slower here, under the blanket of darkness and cloth. The hum of the AC reminds me how simple life can be when you really let it be. But it isn't that simple. It never has been after all, the room speaks louder than any words I could ever possibly whisper of my ever silent self judgment. The walls listen. They do it eagerly. Judgingly. They know everything I am, everything I am not more than I myself can admit. Once I was simple perhaps, but that time has come and gone, and as far as I'm aware it's been gone before I started recording its absence. What is simplicity after all, is it just ignorance without end? Is that even possible? Was anything ever actually simple, or was the world just waiting to bear its weight all down at once. How could I know, I'm not a simple man, perhaps I never was. I think a lot about me, but not me in the sense of what I am, but what and where I could be. I am not my potential but my own acceptance of myself grounds me away from it. Isn't acceptance supposed to be a good thing? If so, how come all it ever does for me is keep me from achieving anything I actually want. Better yet, what is “want”? Is it drive or is it the individual longing for the end of a million short roads that make up the highway of life. If today leads to sleep, how about tomorrow? When does it lead to something new? How can I force myself to take an exit to a road that lets me be who I know I can be. Was I ever in control of this vehicle to begin with? If not, who's driving? Someone easy to blame perhaps, but probably not. My foot is likely just asleep on the gas and my hands are too afraid to steer the wheel anywhere but forwards. So that's where I will go, forwards into an endless road that will sometimes remind me there are others I could be down, but I and the road both know I don't have the willpower to take myself off the route I've been down this whole time. Maybe I am a simple man, and the only thing that's changed is the idea that maybe I'm not.

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https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/uaxHQcFoEY

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/oY42uZsW1I