Saying goodbye my sweetest pea
I’m saying goodbye to my best friend tomorrow afternoon. He was diagnosed with GI lymphoma two years ago and has been taking chemo (chlorambucil), a liver supplement and a steroid (prednisolone). Recently he was also put on Gabapentin because he’s been largely struggling to walk due to muscle loss and the vet thinks he could be in pain. He also has a heating pad that he loves that eases his discomfort. He used to greet me every time I would come home and the last few months he might greet me once or twice a week. He’s gotten incredibly thin and has been throwing up bile again (something that led to his diagnoses), hasn’t been eating much and has been sleeping under the bed. Normally he hangs out with me whenever I’m home but I have only seen him at night to go to sleep for the most part. He’s been with me since college (I’m 34 now, I was 23 when I adopted him) and has been through all the highs and lows. I adopted him at approx 2 years old and he’s 14 now. He’s my old man and I really don’t know what I’m going to do without him. As others have said, he’s my soul cat and I’m completely in pieces. I made my appointment request for a doctor to come tomorrow at home to say goodbye because I couldn’t bear taking him into a vets office. I want him to be at home and comfortable. I fought back tears to make the appointment and I’m bawling as I write this. I just don’t know what to do with this kind of pain. Aden is my everything and I hate how skinny he’s gotten. He still eats his favorite treats but has eaten them less and less. He barely touches his food now. I know he’s not feeling well and I don’t want to wait until last minute when it all feels unbearable for him. I’m so grateful for the borrowed time I’ve had with him. I’m so bad at goodbyes and I don’t know how I’m going to get through tomorrow. My 2 year old (another adopted kitty), Harry, will be losing his brother tomorrow and I’m not sure how he’ll react without Aden. My heart is breaking all over the place. This feels impossible.