u/thr0w4w4y42010

Apparently every time I see a post about “programmed DID child soldiers” I get sent into a blind rage and start making text posts. So!!

Aside from the fact you can’t program DID, and aside from the fact these guys really aren’t child soldiers, something that always bothers me is how these individuals never regress in their behaviour.

Like you’re telling me a fringe extremist group with access to weapons and the means to indoctrinate you for years never left you with any lingering beliefs? You were indoctrinated for years, but you’re not racist, you’re not sexist, you’re not homophobic or transphobic, you have no real feelings for the alleged values you were raised with?

Real people raised in extreme situations can turn into awful people. They repeat the crimes done on them. They turn to substance abuse or drugs to cope. Even if they work through some of their values, instinctively they will regress to those bigoted ideals that keep them safe, and I don’t even mean obviously, I mean that they will scoff at things like neopronouns or not listen to people of colour because even if they’ve worked through these beliefs they don’t just disappear overnight.

And just for the record, if these people were actually traumatised the way they allege, and are without therapy, they WOULDN’T have worked through these issues.

I know it’s an “icky” thought but victims aren’t perfect, plenty end up with bias and prejudices based on how they were traumatised. It sucks, it makes other victims in those spaces feel unsafe, but it happens. Bigotry can even deliberately be a method to self isolate. If you are genuinely alleging that you were indoctrinated by someone with these extreme ideals then they just don’t disappear. Even if they don’t get taken out on other people, they take it out on themselves!! They don’t “allow” alters who don’t meet their standards to make themselves known in the interest of safety. They will bully, persecute and actively suppress those parts.

it just bothers me. Speak to any victim of abuse from even a moderately conservative society and they will tell you how fucking hard it is to unlearn ideas that are beaten into you, no matter how much your rational mind argues. But your child soldier alter is so in touch with their feelings they know exactly what xenogender and neopronouns they use, right.

My (19F) immigrants and my mother wants to buy a little home in her home country. £3000, plus her own savings, makes up enough for a down payment on a small home near my aunt’s, which she wants for £15k. She says she will return my money.

However I’m hesitant. For one my mother is weirdly cagey about a lot of details, she had problems with money growing up so is sometimes difficultto get a straight answer out of about finances. For example she may promise money she doesn’t have or say she doesn’t have money which she does.

Two, this will sound quite selfish the money I have is pretty much all my savings, it’s my emergency fund for university (theoretically, if I lost all my money I could afford to keep going for several more months if I budgeted carefully, which is long enough for me to get a job. Last year my dad lost his job which is why this is important, as right now he helps with my living expenses). I don’t know if I want to part with all of it because it makes me feel much safer going to university with the knowledge that the floor can’t drop from under me.

Three, and I know this makes me sound kind of crazy, but my mum recently promised £15k of money she doesn’t have to her friend to open a business. The fact that she had no way of getting money back from a house, but her friend could from a business, and the fact that the cost is identical, is why I’m so hesitant.

My dad is not always the best with money but would be really unhappy if I gave her this money, because despite being mine from my job, he dislikes me spending it and would prefer it if I would just ask him for money so I can keep my rainy day fund. It also helps him to know that in case of an emergency, I’m taken care of, and I know he’s proud of me for saving up from my part time job.

On the other hand, my mother getting a little house near her sister isn’t a bad idea. I know she would feel more secure if she had somewhere of her own, rather than always relying on her family to host her. Not to mention it often makes everything more peaceful in the house when she has somewhere to call her own. I think it’s a good idea, but it all gives me a bad feeling

Tl;dr: my mother wants my money for a house. I would want her to get a house but it all seems a bit weird

My part time job puts me in a hospital and I can tolerate the tears and the stress of treating kids until they start begging and pleading. Older kids are easier because you can reason with them about the fact that a temporary pain will make them better, but younger kids can’t even have that. They scream and cry and plead with their parents and with staff to stop.

Other things are difficult, like unsupportive parents or being a mandatory reporter but I can manage. It’s the idea a child can’t reason why I’m hurting them, and the fact that I can’t stop hurting them.

I’m in therapy, practice the DBT skills, do everything right, but when it starts the reaction isn’t even voluntary it’s like ice water gets dumped down my spine. I’m super interested in paeds but I am scared to embarrass myself in front of people like this. I don’t like people to know this fact about me irl

Is this a TV thing, or a cultural thing? The only medical show I watch is House so I’ve not really got a frame of reference

Anyways I work in a hospital in the UK and the one bit that I genuinely can’t ignore is how much everyone seems to shout in an emergency. Like don’t get me wrong I understand they’re high stress situations but if a patient was having a cardiac arrest every week I wouldn’t lose my head about it. Quite frankly unless you’re completely alone we are never taught to start yelling in an emergency as protocol, you just raise your voice loud enough to get to the next person, and either they help or they relay the information to whoever’s can help. And when you’re in the middle of a ward that’s usually never that loud.

Seriously. If there’s an emergency what do you gain by shouting ‘she’s seizing!!!!!! we need a crash cart!!!!!’ everyone in the room can see she’s seizing because she went all rigid and started twitching. And everyone outside the room can hear all the alarms beeping because that’s what all the alarms are for.

I don’t know. Everyone seems to freak out immediately whenever anything bad happens as if they’re not in a hospital in a practice with highly complex patients. It’s like working in a McDonalds and losing your head when you see fries.