u/thr0waway1224

i'm interested in getting FME through a separate provider before MMA, while doing my pre surgery orthodontics through my oral surgeon (rutgers). Has anyone done a split provider approach like this before? how did the coordination work between your providers? were they okay with it?

Also interested in hearing from anyone who got FME specifically in the tristate nj/nyc area, Who did you see and how was your experience? Looking for providers, I know the obvious answer is probably Newaz, but just looking at my options for budgeting.

For as long as I can remember, I've always felt like I never had a sense of self. Crafting my own career, sculpting my own body, my own sense of style, or even simpler things like decorating my own space. There's no reward, only resistance. When all you feel is the resistance in doing anything, why would you do it?

But when it comes to someone I care for, I jump to help them, there's no resistance and I don't think twice about it, and that's why I always found myself doing so much better in romantic relationships. Not only for them, but finally for myself as well. In a romantic relationship, I'm able to take care of myself, I feel like my world finally has color. I solve problems in me that I've struggled to figure out for years. For a short period of time it's like I'm a completely different person.

Only after recent heartbreak am I left with the ability to see the patterns of how I used to behave. I'm returning to that baseline that felt so inescapable, like being stuck in a pit of tar.

I'd like to build myself up, rather than waiting for the next relationship to fix it.

My day to day feels like a deep numbness, which is also often accompanied by a bodily "ache" in the stomach area, seemingly from emotional distress. This persists all day long unless addressed somehow, from texting people, scrolling, porn, junk food, to cardio, I do anything I can to relieve this feeling. Sometimes it gets so bad that it pulls me out of whatever I'm doing and chains me to my bed.

Sometimes I even have orgasm blunting, all I feel is the ejaculation and nothing else.

A lot of this maps onto what you'd expect from low opioid tone, which makes me wonder if LDN is worth trying.

Has anyone tried LDN for this kind of anhedonia, and did it change their baseline meaningfully?